


Let's Go About This Slowly

by secretsidgenowriter



Category: Men's Hockey RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - Prostitution, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Businessman Geno, Developing Relationship, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Non hockey au, Past Sid/OMC, Presents, Sex Worker Sid, Sid/OMC, Slight Age Difference, Time Jump
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-12
Updated: 2018-12-11
Packaged: 2019-09-16 11:52:57
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 18
Words: 36,917
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16953510
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/secretsidgenowriter/pseuds/secretsidgenowriter
Summary: Sid’s usually more careful about things like this.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Originally inspired by this [picture. ](https://www.instagram.com/p/Bp1GRTxAZdp/?utm_source=ig_share_sheet&igshid=1v7tgtnfjhvz5) I never meant for it to go this far.

 

There are crescent shaped marks on the back of Geno’s shoulders.

Deep and red and unforgiving and Sid sits back against the headboard and worries at his bottom lip as he stares at them.

Geno is sitting at the foot of the bed, still naked from the waist up as he leans down to pull his socks back on.

Sid’s usually more careful about things like this.

He doesn’t leave marks unless they’ve asked for it. Unless it’s been discussed.

But he couldn’t seem to help himself when Geno pushed into him, when he dragged his lips along Sid’s neck, or when they arched against each other. Geno didn’t seem to mind when Sid clawed at his skin, didn’t tell him to stop as he dug his nails in to ride out his orgasm. Geno only squeezed his eyes shut, dropped his sweaty forehead onto Sid’s and shook apart in Sid's arms.

The sex isn’t usually like that, not with any of his other clients. He never loses control like that. He has to get himself back in order.

Geno straightens up suddenly and in one fluid movement pulls on his thin undershirt, covering the marks.

Sid blinks as Geno stands up and when he turns around and pulls on his dress shirt he tips his head to the side and sticks his bottom lip out.

“So serious after sex,” Geno says, “make me think I don’t do a good job.”

Sid opens his mouth and then snaps it shut. Then, after a moment he says “I read the article about you in Forbes.”

Geno’s eyebrows knit together, briefly, as he parses out the words then he smiles and nods as he begins to button his shirt.

“I tell you that was coming out,” he asks and Sid shakes his head.

“It was kind of hard to miss with your face on the cover. I had no idea you were that important.”

Geno laughs as he straightens out his collar. “Not that important,” he says and Sid laughs right back.

“You’re part of the thirty five wealthiest under thirty five in the world. That’s a big deal.”

Geno shrugs. “In four years I won’t be on list anymore.”

“Then you’ll be part of the forty under forty.”

Geno shrugs again. “Maybe,” he says but Sid knows it’s a definite.

He read the article. He knows Geno is a true self made billionaire. He has more money than Sid can even comprehend from dabbling in everything from tech to fashion to cars to sports teams. It’s like he can’t seem to settle down and pick one thing to focus his energy on so he parcels it out instead into a dozen different things.

“Surprise you not already know,” Geno says. “You don’t google me?”

Sid shakes his head. That’s a rule of his. One that’s set in stone. He only wants to know what his clients want him to know and nothing more. He doesn’t need to know what they do for a living or how much they make. If they go home to a wife and kids after they get done bending him over the edge of the sink in the bathroom. Sid doesn’t even need to know their names. As long as they set the right amount of money on the dresser Sid doesn’t care what their backstories are.

But Sid had broken his own rule when he spotted Geno’s face staring back at him on the front cover of the magazine as he waited in line for shitty coffee at the bodega. He couldn’t stop himself from picking it up and flipping it open and reading the entire article before the line even moved.

“I sound okay in it,” Geno asks as he looks around on the floor. He’s missing his tie and only his right cuff link is on his shirt. “English sounds better in writing, get to edit but-.”

“You sounded great,” Sid reassures and Geno flashes him a huge lopsided smile.

He sounded more than great. Brilliant and generous, donating a large percentage of his earnings to different charities, everything from underprivileged children to the humane society to saving the whales.

Geno is so young and he has more money than Sid would ever know what to do with but he’s handling it all so well.

Except for his penchant for hiring prostitutes.

“Ah,” Geno says as he bends down. He comes up with his tie and loops it around his neck.

“I liked the pictures,” Sid says and Geno’s smile gets impossibly wider.

“Which one you like the most?”

“The one with you in the couch,” Sid says and Geno leaves the tie loose as he climbs back onto the bed. “In that tux,” Sid continues as Geno settles himself over Sid’s lap and kisses the side of Sid’s neck. Sid curls his fingers in toward his palm to keep himself from touching Geno but he does tip his head to the side to give him more room. “Your legs looked a mile long,” he says as Geno huffs a laugh against his skin.

“Think maybe I wear it for you next time,” Geno says as he nips at the thin skin over Sid’s pulse. “Keep it on whole time. You like that?”

Sid digs his fingernails into his palms. Geno didn’t pay for this but Sid knows that if he touches him back he won’t stop and Sid doesn’t work for free.

“Usually with that kind of thing I’m the one dressing up,” Sid says and Geno pulls back, something dark flickering across his face for a moment before it clears and he glances at his watch.

“Have to go. How much for goodnight kiss?”

Sid shrugs. “It’s on the house,” he says and Geno gently cups Sid’s face in his hands and lightly presses their lips together.

It’s achingly gentle. It’s a kiss from Sid’s past, from a love he had and then lost and never went looking for again. It’s one that should end with them barely breaking apart, breathing the same air as they say _“I love you,”_ and then kiss once more for good measure.

Sid digs his blunt nails into the meat of his palm hard enough to break the skin.

When Geno pulls back the only thing he does is give Sid another soft smile before he’s unfolding his legs and climbing back off the bed.

“I see you again,” he asks and Sid falls back against the pillow and wills his heart to slow down.

“It’s up to you,” he says and tries not to blush under Geno’s gaze when it rakes over Sid’s bare skin.

“Yes,” Geno says. “See you again.” He digs into his wallet and pulls out a twenty. He leaves it with the others on the dresser and says “for kiss,” and Sid’s not about to turn down a little extra cash. “If you find other cufflink you keep for me, okay? Favorite pair and I can’t find.”

“Okay, I’ll look for it.”

Geno nods and frowns down at the floor before he looks back up. “Be good,” he says, “see you soon.”

“You have my number. Whenever you want.”

Geno presses a kiss to his own fingertips then holds his hand out toward Sid before he opens the hotel room door and steps out into the hall.

Sid takes a deep breath as the door shuts behind him and sinks further into the mattress. He unfolds his fingers and checks the damage, little half moon shapes that match the ones on Geno’s shoulders are embedded in his palms. He rubs his fingers over them to ease the pain then gives up and splays his arms and legs across the king sized mattress.

His hand bumps against something and it takes a moment to fish it out between the tangle of sheets. It’s Geno’s cufflink. Sterling silver with dark gemstones in the middle.

Sid holds it in his palm, feeling the heft of it and knows that it’s expensive. It would be easy to lie to Geno. Tell him that he looked but he couldn’t find it. Geno would believe him.

Sid could pawn it and pay his rent for the next six months, maybe more.

He should do that.

He should put himself first. There’s no one else looking out for him.

Instead, he closes his fingers around the metal and climbs out of bed, stopping to grab his jeans on the way to the bathroom.

He wraps the cufflink in a piece of toilet paper then sets it carefully on the sink as he shimmies back into his jeans then he tucks the paper into his front pocket for safe keeping.

He’ll give it back to Geno when he sees him.


	2. Chapter 2

Sid leans against the brick wall and closes his eyes. He is dead on his feet and when he takes a deep breath he inhales the thick smell of cigarette smoke.

His fingers twitch at his sides.

It’s been years since he last smoked, a nasty habit he picked up when he was fifteen and mad at the world. He quit a few years later but the desire for it flares up every now and then.

Especially when it’s happening right beside him.

Kris wants to be a model.

He has the look for it and even though he works out harder than anyone Sid has ever met he still counts on the nicotine to suppress his appetite.

“Sucks,” Kris says as he tips his head back and blows smoke upward in a thick, grey column. “Fucking sucks.” He drops his chin and looks over at Sid. “They can just kick you out like that?”

“Yeah. I couldn’t pay the rent so…”

“Yeah, because they jacked it up like, two hundred percent.”

“They’re turning the building into luxury condos. They have to get us out of there somehow.”

“That sucks. I would say you could crash at my place but we’re already full up.”

“It’s all right. I’ll figure it out. If I can get enough jobs this week I should be able to cover a hotel room for a little while.”

Kris hums around the cigarette. “You got somewhere to go tonight,” he asks and when Sid nods Kris purses his lips. “Good. Still sucks, though.”

“You want to know the worst part?”

Kris nods and takes another drag.

“One of my clients owns the company that’s building the condos.”

Sid recognized the name of the company from the Forbes article.

“Fuck,” Kris says, dragging out the word and shaking his head.

Sid nods and pulls on the valet vest they have to wear. It’s a little tight but it’s part of the uniform. Sid only has three hours left on this shift anyways.

“So he must be really rich, huh?”

Sid nods.

“Old?”

“Not really,” Sid says and he realizes he probably should have kept his mouth shut. Kris can be nosy when he wants to be and it wouldn’t take too much Googling to find Geno’s name.

But then again, Geno probably has the best lawyers that could bury Kris in legal fees if they wanted.

“He’s only a few years older than us.”

“Sounds like a dick.”

“He’s not,” Sid says sharply, suddenly defensive. “He’s nice. He’s funny and kind.”

“He kicked you out of your home.”

“Not him personally. He owns the company that owns the company that owns the company that’s doing it.”

Kris’s eyebrows shoot up. “So he’s really rich then?”

“He donates a lot to charity.”

“Yeah,” Kris laughs, “he displaces a shit ton of people then donates a moderate amount to a homeless shelter or some shit so he can make himself look good. Rich people only care about other rich people, Sid. You should know that by now. How many Mercedes and Lexus drivers do we have to deal with on a daily basis for you to understand that. Just because he doesn’t hit you doesn’t mean he’s a nice person. It just means he’s not a monster. When do you see him again?”

“Tonight.”

“Good. Charge him triple for your trouble.” He pulls his phone out of his pocket then stubs the cigarette out on the wall and tosses the butt into the dumpster on the other side of the alley. “You coming back?”

“I got a few more minutes,” Sid says and then gives into temptation. “Hey, you got another cigarette?”

Kris nods and pulls the pack out of his back pocket. Sid pulls one out then leans in toward the flame when Kris flicks on the disposable lighter.

 

-

 

When Geno pulls back from their kiss Sid chases his mouth with his own.

“What,” Sid asks as Geno looks at him funny, his fingers cradling Sid’s skull.

“Taste like smoke,” Geno says with a frown, “you smoke?”

“Oh. No. Not anymore, not really. I had one,” he stutters and Geno sits back on his heels on the bed. “I quit a while ago but you know...smoking is an addiction and all that. I had momentary relapse I guess.”

Geno hums.

“What, you never smoked?”

Geno shrugs. “Lots of people smoke in Russia. Sometimes I smoke cigars.” He scrunches up his nose. “Don’t like taste.”

“I have some mouthwash in the bathroom.” He pulls his legs out from underneath Geno’s weight. “I’ll go rinse.”

“Don’t have to get up,” Geno says. “Don’t want to interrupt.”

“It’s fine,” Sid says as he pushes himself up to his knees so he can kneel walk down to the end of the bed. “We haven’t really started anything yet.”

“Nice thing to say about foreplay,” Geno says playfully and Sid looks at him over his shoulder.

“Oh,” he says as innocently as he can. “Is that what that was?”

Geno scoffs and Sid laughs as Geno swats him gently on the ass.

“So mean,” Geno says and Sid looks over his shoulder again to watch Geno fluff the pillows so he can sit back comfortably against the headboard.

Sid rinses with the mouthwash and spits then does it a second time just to be sure before he flicks off the bathroom light then stands in the doorway for a moment to watch Geno on the bed.

Geno’s taken his shirt off leaving him only in his tight fitting boxer briefs. He’s half hard and scratching at his inner thigh with one hand and playing with the elastic on the waistband with the other.

Sid wants to climb onto the bed and slowly remove the fabric with his teeth as much as he wants to climb onto the bed, rest his head on Geno’s shoulder and sleep for the next ten hours.

“Hey,” Geno says when he looks up and spots Sid. “What do you want to do? Didn’t talk about yet.”

“Well, you didn’t bring the tux so…” He trails off and Geno grins at him. “I guess it’s your pick.” Just as it always is.

Geno nods then narrows his eyes. “You sure you want to do this? Look tired.”

“I’m fine,” Sid lies. He’s tired and stressed and technically homeless at Geno’s own unknowing hand but he’s fine. He needs this money. “What do you want?”

Geno licks his lips then holds his hand out. “Come here,” he says and Sid reaches for his hand.

 

Apparently, what Geno wants is Sid flat on his back as he kneels between Sid’s thighs and sucks him off so slowly there are tears in the corners of Sid’s eyes.

The condom that Sid insists upon wearing dulls the sensation just a bit but the heat and the pressure is still there and so is Geno looking up at him with his deep, brown, hooded eyes. When Geno slips his fingers down to cradle Sid’s balls Sid pounds his heel against the middle of Geno’s back and cards his hand through Geno’s hair.

“Fuck,” Sid pants out, “god.”

Geno smiles around Sid’s dick then pulls off, hollowing his cheeks around the head before he lets it fall from his lips.

“Wish you could come in my mouth,” Geno says, voice rough and wrecked Sid’s eyes slam shut as his stomach goes tight. “Or on face,” Geno says as he jerks him off. “Mess me up.”

Sid bites his lips and whines as he comes, Geno’s hand speeding up to work him through it and not letting up until Sid pushes his hand away and hauls him up for a kiss.

Geno’s hard against Sid’s hip and thrusting into the dip of it. With uncoordinated hands Sid wraps his fingers around him and Geno groans into the Sid’s neck.

“Gonna come on you,” Geno grits out as he rolls his hips into Sid’s hand. “Is okay?”

“It’s fine,” Sid says quickly as he twists his wrist. “Just come, come on.”

Geno nods and drops his forehead onto Sid’s. Their noses bump and when Geno comes and says Sid’s name on an exhale their lips brush together.

Geno falls to the side as come and sweat start to cool on Sid’s stomach. Sid pushes Geno’s hair off his forehead before he rolls off the condom and ties it off.

He swings his legs off the bed but is stopped with a hand on his arm before he gets any further.

“You feel better now,” Geno asks and Sid blinks at him.

What does it even matter how he feels? No one ever cares about that.

“I’m fine, I promise.”

Geno shakes his head. “Something wrong. I’m know.”

 _I’m homeless because of you,_ Sid thinks, _and it’s not even your fault. There’s nothing you can do about it. It’s not personal. It’s never personal._

“I’m fine,” he says again then brightens. “I have your cufflink.”

Geno’s eyes light up. “Think I lose. For sure go down vent or something. Already bought replacement pair.”

Sid smiles tightly at the money Geno just dropped on a whim and digs the paper wrapped cufflink out of the pocket of his pants.

“Here,” Sid says as he holds it out and drops it into Geno’s palm.

He unwraps it then holds it up to the light so the stones shine.

“Perfect,” Geno says and when Sid looks over to him he finds Geno looking back.


	3. Chapter 3

Sid greedily takes the styrofoam container from Kris and balances it on his bent knees before he pops it open.

There’s half a steak, a small pile of mashed potatoes, and a few spears of asparagus. All just barely warm but Sid really can’t afford to be picky right now. This is the first meal he’s had in weeks that didn’t come from McDonald’s or KFC.

“Flower hooked you up,” Kris says as he hands him silverware.

“Tell him thanks,” Sid says as he jams a too big bite of steak in his mouth.

“Sneakiest bus boy in the city,” Kris says back. “He said he was going to try to sneak you out some wine tomorrow.”

“Don’t let him get fired. It’s not worth it.”

“I actually think he likes to do it. Breaks up the mononity a bit-hey-slow down man, there’s no rush. You’re gonna make yourself sick. I had no idea some leftovers could taste that good.”

Sid forces himself to slow down and takes a smaller forkful of potatoes.

“Sorry,” Sid says as he swallows, “but all I’ve been eating are hamburgers and French fries. I’ve been dying for something different.”

Kris shakes his head and clicks his tongue. “Flower’s definitely getting you some wine tomorrow. Where have you been saying?”

“Sun Bright Hotel,” he says and Kris frowns at him.

“Sidney, that place is a shit hole.”

“It’s not that bad.”

“It has bed bugs,” Kris says as he takes a step back.

“That’s just a rumor. It’s all right. It’s cheap. It’s a roof over my head.”

At the end of the day that’s all that matters. It’s getting colder out and he already spent two nights tucked away into a corner of a the park huddled in on himself to withstand the wind.

He’s not doing that again.

“It’s not like I have a lot of choices here. After taxes I’m basically only getting paid in tips-.”

“And rich people don’t tip for shit,” Kris interrupts. “I got a dollar from some asshole driving a Ferrari the other day.”

“And three of my regulars cancelled on me last week and after I put aside the money for my student loans and my cell phone bill I don’t have much left.” He picks up a spear of asparagus and folds it into his mouth. “If I don’t get more work soon food is the next to go.”

“What about your rich guy? The one that evicted you and caused this whole mess.”

Sid shakes his head. “Haven’t seen him in awhile.”

It’s been almost a month and a half since the last time. Geno left him on expensive hotel sheets, sweaty and sleepy and well paid.

“Is he coming back?”

Sid shrugs. “I don’t know. He doesn’t live here full time. He’s all over the place.”

“Must be nice,” Kris says and then buttons up his vest. “I gotta get back. You working tomorrow?”

“Five to nine.”

Kris points a finger at him. “Wine tomorrow. I’ll tell Flower it’s a go. Don’t get murdered on your way back to the hotel tonight.”

Sid waves at him and shoves another bite of steak in his mouth. “I’ll be fine.”

 

-

 

The hotel really isn’t that bad.

Sure, there’s rust on the drains in the shared bathroom and the pipes rattle in the walls at all hours of the night and the walls are paper thin but it could certainly be worse.

Somehow.

He lies on the thin mattress with the scratchy sheets over him and listens to his neighbors yell at each other in German, maybe. Loud and severe and angry the words run together they’re coming so quickly that it almost sounds like a white noise machine.

Sid runs his hand through his hair, too long and curling wildly at his temples. His fingers get stuck on a tangle and his grits his teeth as he works his hand through it. The last time his hair was this long he was a sophomore in college and he made a split second decision that shaped the rest of his life.

He was studying for finals listening to his roommate idly bitch about how long it had been since he had gotten laid and how horny he was.

“I’m considering paying for it,” he said and Sid rolled his eyes as he highlighted a passage in his notes. “That’s how hard up I am.”

Sid really just wanted some peace and quiet, maybe stun him into silence, when he turned and said “for twenty bucks I’ll suck your dick as long as you promise to shut the fuck up and let me study.”

His roommates jaw snapped shut and Sid thought for a moment that maybe that was it and he’d finally have some quiet. But then his roommate looked him over with a hot spark in his eye even as he said “I’m not gay.”

Sid slowly put his highlighter down and looked back at him. He was cute and on an athletic scholarship so Sid knew his body was lined with muscle.

“I don’t think it matters,” Sid had said as he got up from his desk then dropped to his knees in front of his roommate who readily spread his thighs to make room. “You know, that whole _close your eyes and I can be whoever you want me to be_ thing.” Sid ran his hands up his thighs and stopped at his zipper. “This okay?”

His roommate nodded then reached out and traced Sid’s bottom lip with his thumb.

Ten minutes later his eyes were wide and locked on Sid’s as he came.

It seemed so obvious after that. A quick way to get a little extra cash. He was good at it and he liked it and eventually he learned to go off campus and find men instead of boys who wanted more and could also afford it. He knew how he looked, how big a draw his lips and his ass were to lonely men looking for a good time. They’d pay anything for him and it was fun for awhile. Powerful. Knowing that he was wanted like that filled some kind of void in him.

It wasn’t supposed to be forever. He was supposed to get through school and get a job and put it behind him but job offers never came and Sid panicked and doubled down. He took a crappy part time job parking cars at a restaurant during the day then slept his way through the city at night and now he’s twenty five and starting down the barrel of the rest of his life with more questions than answers.

He stares up at the cracked ceiling above him and takes a deep breath trying to calm himself down. He hasn’t cried since he was thirteen and the social worker sat beside him in the hospital room and gently told him his parents hadn’t survived the accident.

On the rickety nightstand beside him his phone lights up and vibrates. _EM_ flashes across the screen, _Evgeni Malkin, Geno,_ and Sid’s hand flies out to grab it before it goes to voicemail.

“Sid,” Geno says, sounding surprised that he answered. “Late there, yes? Think maybe you busy. Was going to leave message.”

“No, I’m here. I’m in bed. Alone.”

“I wake you?” “No, I was still up. What’s up?”

“Coming back to the city next week. Think maybe I see you? You have time?” Sid shuts his eyes and listens to the steady in and out of Geno’s breath coming across the line. It’s comforting and strong and he wants to settle into it and forget the world. “For you,” he says, “I have all the time.”


	4. Chapter 4

The grip on Sid’s wrist is too tight and the alarm bells in his head ring louder and louder as the guy in the driver’s seat refuses to let go.

Sid hates picking up like this, standing out on a street corner in the tightest pair of jeans he can find and just waiting for someone to pull up to the curb. He prefers a bar or a club. Somewhere he can get a good look at the guy before he moves in.

Sid’s outside of the car but he’s still in a vulnerable position. The guy isn’t letting go and while he has one hand on Sid’s wrist the other isn’t visible in the dark interior of the car. He could have a gun or a knife and Sid wouldn’t know until the very last moment. Until it was too late.

“C’mon, baby,” the guy says and Sid’s stomach churns. There are other guys standing on the sidewalk but it’s clear how they’re very carefully _not_ looking at him they won’t be tripping over themselves to help.

But he’s used to that. As with everything he’ll have to do this himself.

“Talk to me,” the guys says as he tries to pull Sid closer to the open window. “How much and for what?” He looks Sid up and down. “You look like you’re a good time.”

“I’m a great time,” Sid says, “but not tonight. Changed my mind.”

“Hey,” the guy snaps and yanks on Sid’s arm. There’s going to be a bruise on his skin in the morning. “You came up to me. You promised.”

Sid never promised anything. He never does. Nothing is ever promised or owed and anyone can say no at any time for any reason.

“I didn’t,” Sid says, then grits his teeth against the ache in his wrist as the guy refuses to let go. “Let me go.”

“Just get in,” the guy says, “let’s go back to my place. We’ll talk. We don’t even have to do anything.”

Sid can’t stop himself from rolling his eyes but before he can say anything else there’s a body beside him and an arm falling across the roof of the sedan with an ominous _thunk_.

The man is tall, long arms and long legs wrapped up in an expensive looking suit. In the shadow of the streetlamp his eyes looks hooded and dark as he pulls something small out of his pocket, a booklet maybe, and flashes it in front of the guy in the car.

“Think maybe you let him go, now,” the man says in a heavy accent, “or else we take ride down to station. Can sit there and explain to me why you don’t know how to listen.”

The guy let’s go of Sid’s wrist like it’s burned him and Sid cradles it against his chest. “Officer,” the guy says, “I wasn’t...I didn’t. It’s not what it looks like,” he stutters out. “He propositioned me. I was just trying to ask for directions,” he lies and the cop rolls his eyes.

“Don’t care,” he says, “just go.”

The guy fumbles with his keys dropping them once before he jams them in the ignition and Sid steps back onto the sidewalk. Before the guy can drive away the officer ducks down and leans through the open window.

“If I see you near him again.” He shakes his head. “Won’t be good for you.”

He leans back out and the guy pulls away from the curb and blends into traffic, disappearing around the corner at the end of the street.

“Hand okay,” the officer asks and Sid nods as he flexes his wrist.

One problem has been solved but another is just starting. The other guys on the sidewalk have scattered and it’s only Sid and the officer and a few oblivious pedestrians going on with their lives. 

“Listen, Officer, what he said-.”

“Oh,” the officer says as he digs back into his pocket for his badge. “Not cop,” he says as he holds it out for Sid to take. It’s a passport not a badge. “But I see him holding onto you and I think quick. Figure he’s stupid and it’s dark, can’t see very well. Maybe I scare him into leaving.” He smiles. “It work.”

“You’re not a cop,” Sid says as he looks the passport over. It’s Russian and has stamps from dozens of countries.

“No. In business.”

Sid looks him over as he hands back his passport. The suit makes sense now. He’s never seen a cop dressed that nicely.

“You sure your hand is okay? Don’t need ice?”

“I’m fine and I could have handled that myself.”

“Or maybe you get pulled into car and go missing.”

“There’s really no one to miss me, so…”

“I miss you,” The man says. “That enough?”

He smiles, wide and charming and Sid’s guard starts to melt away and he scrambles to put it back up.

“Listen,” Sid says, trying not to look at the spark in his eyes. “Thank you for what you did but if you’re looking for me to return the favor I don’t work for free.”

The man shakes his head. “Who said anything about free? You think I’m not good for it?”

Sid crosses his arms over his chest and doesn’t miss the way the man’s eyes dart down to take in the way his t-shirt pulls across his shoulders.

“How much do you have,” Sid asks and the man shrugs.

“How much you want? Then triple it.”

Sid runs his tongue slowly along his bottom lip and bites back a smile when the man follows the movement when his eyes.

“Okay, I think we can work something out. There’s a hotel around the corner. You have a name? I didn’t catch it on the passport.”

The man holds out his hand and Sid takes it. “Can call me, Geno. Is nice to meet you.”

 

-

 

Sid picks carefully through the chocolates that Geno brought back from Belgium or Holland or Switzerland or wherever he’s been.

Geno had pushed the box into Sid’s hands the moment Sid opened the hotel room door and gave him a quick kiss before returning to his phone call.

He’s been on the same call for the last forty five minutes pacing the floor, pinching the bridge of his nose, and ranting in Russian.

Sid’s not in any hurry. Geno paid for the whole night and the extra grand in Sid’s pocket will go far but right now he’d like to ask Geno how to tell which chocolates are the gross cream filled ones and which have caramel.

Geno stops pacing in front of him and gently bats Sid’s hovering hand away and picks up the chocolate in the upper right corner and holds it out for Sid.

Sid takes it straight from Geno’s hand and smiles as the chocolate melts and smooth caramel flows across his tongue.

Before Geno can pull his hand away Sid grabs his wrist and licks the melted bit of chocolate off the pad of his thumb. Geno’s eyes go dark as Sid swirls his tongue around and Geno has to shake his head to get himself back into the conversation he’s still having on the phone.

Sid shifts on the chair he’s sitting on and pulls Geno in so he’s standing between his knees. Then he pulls Geno’s shirt from his pants and pushes it up his torso so he has space to bite and suck kisses into the soft skin on Geno’s stomach.

Geno goes quiet above him and Sid looks up and locks eyes as he slides Geno’s belt free, unzips his pants, and pulls them down his thighs.

Geno grips Sid’s shoulder as Sid leans in and noses at the line of his cock through his boxer briefs, not quite hard but getting there quickly.

Geno mumbles something into the phone as he slides his hand up the side of Sid’s neck and back down to his shoulder again. He spreads his legs as far as he can between Sid’s knees and Sid pulls down the waistband of his briefs until Geno’s cock springs free.

“I’m gonna blow you,” Sid says and Geno’s nostrils flare as he holds the phone between his shoulder and his ear so he can grab his wallet out of his pocket. He tosses it in the table then taps the back with his finger before he reaches up and repositions the phone.

Sid flips open the wallet and between the bill folds finds two flavored condoms, strawberry and orange.

He laughs as he unwraps the strawberry one and rolls it on Geno then waits, looking up at him for one last confirmation.

He gets it when Geno threads his fingers through the hair on the back of Sid’s head and guides Sid’s open mouth onto Geno’s cock.

His hand tightens in Sid’s hair as Geno tips his head back with a sigh. Sid watches the grip Geno has on his phone go more and more slack as Sid works him slowly.

Geno says something, sharp and fast into the phone then he ends the call and tosses the phone blindly toward the floor and reaches down to haul Sid to his feet.

“Couldn’t wait,” Geno says as he cups Sid’s face in his hand and backs him toward the bed. “Was on phone. Important call.”

“I was waiting for forty five minutes,” Sid says as he falls back on his elbows on the mattress. “And maybe I missed you. It’s been awhile.”

“Maybe next time I take you with me,” Geno says as he pulls off his suit jacket and unbuttons his shirt. “That way I won’t miss you, either.”

Sid hooks his foot around the back of Geno’s knee and tips Geno off balance.

“Come here,” he says as he wraps his arms around Geno and angles his face up for a kiss.


	5. Chapter 5

“I can’t believe you have strawberry flavored condoms in your wallet.” Sid’s on his stomach on the bed with the box of chocolates in front of him.

“Know you don’t like taste of regular,” Geno calls from the bathroom. “Like to be prepared.”

“You bought them just for me, eh?”

Geno sticks his head out the door. “Who else is there?” Sid pauses with the square of chocolate halfway to his mouth.

Geno’s never mentioned anyone else but Sid’s never let himself believe that he’s single. Geno’s a great guy. Anyone would be lucky to have him, clear infidelities aside.

He pops the chocolate in his mouth and says “maybe next time I’ll try the orange.”

“Can get more,” Geno says as he flips off the light in the bathroom and slides onto the bed beside Sid. “Don’t know why we need them. Got tested. I’m clean.” He runs his hand through Sid’s hair before he picks through the leftover chocolates. “Trust you.”

Sid hums as he holds a coconut cream chocolate out for Geno to take. “It’s just easier this way,” he says and Geno nods. Sid hasn’t had sex without a condom in nearly a decade and it doesn’t matter how much he likes Geno or how much Geno trusts him. He’s not going to stop using them now.

“You never answer other question,” Geno says after he finishes chewing the chocolate.

“What question?”

“You coming with me on next trip.”

Sid frowns. “That was a question?”

“Yes. Going to Miami in a few days for a week. Think maybe you could come with me.”

“For the whole week,” Sid asks and Geno nods, eyeing the mark he left on the side of Sid’s neck. “That would be a lot of money.”

“Sid,” Geno says blandly as he looks him in the eye. “I have a lots and lots of money. Twenty grand sound okay?”

Sid chokes on the chocolate. He coughs into his fist and scrambles up from his stomach to his knees as Geno rubs a hand against his back.

“Okay, Sid. Need water?”

Sid waves hum off and clears his throat. “Twenty thousand dollars,” he asks and Geno nods, still frowning in concern at Sid. “That’s way too much.”

Geno shrugs. “Not sure if it’s enough. Seven days. Two thousand a day-.”

“That’s too much and even then the math doesn’t work.”

“I round up.”

“Even then it’s too much. I’m not worth that. I shouldn’t even be charging you that much for a night.”

Geno holds Sid’s chin in his palm and tips his face up. “Am in business, Sid. Didn’t make my money by making bad decisions. I know what’s worth it and what’s not. You are worth it.”

“But still...twenty grand.”

“We make it thirty?”

“No, no, no. I’m not even saying yes.”

“Yet,” Geno says as pulls the covers back and crawls beneath them. “You think about it. Still have a few days. Now come to bed. Is late.”

Sid moves the chocolate box over to the table and stands at the foot of the bed. Geno’s eyes are closed and his face looks relaxed and Sid’s heart twists.

“So,” Sid says and Geno cracks one eye open. “Would I just hang around in the hotel room until you got back or what?”

Geno pushes himself up on his elbows and shakes his head. “Miami is fun city. Expect you to have fun. Eat, shop, sit by pool. Maybe learn to surf. Not going to keep you locked up in hotel room all day.”

“Wouldn’t it be easier for you to find someone down there? Why does it have to be me?”

“You know what I like,” Geno says simply. “I know what you like. I know you. Is easy with you.” He scrunches his nose. “Don’t want someone else.”

It’s terrifying and comforting at the same time but when Geno holds his hand out Sid takes it and lets himself be pulled into bed.

“Sleep on it,” Geno says as he maneuvers Sid against his side. “Will talk later.”

Sid settles his head on Geno’s shoulder, his mind already made up.

 

-

 

“This is a huge mistake. A huge fucking mistake.”

“Probably,” Sid says as he folds his vest over his arm. His name tag is in his hand and Kris is shaking his head in front of him. “Maybe. Definitely. But I don’t think I have another choice. Twenty grand, Kris. I have to go.”

“So you’re quitting your actual-legal- job to go to Miami for a week? Sid. What happens when the week is up and you come back to nothing?”

“I’ll have twenty thousand dollars in my bank account. I’ve never had that much money. I’ll probably never have an opportunity to have that much money. It’s enough to get me out of that shitty hotel room.”

“You said it wasn’t that bad.”

“And you wanted me out.”

“What happens when you run out of that twenty grand and you don’t have a job to fall back on?”

“You’re acting like this is the only minimum wage job in the city. I can get another job. Everyone is hiring during the holidays. I’ll be fine.”

Kris’s face is still pinched tightly and Sid crosses his arms.

“Just say it,” Sid says and Kris sighs.

“This isn’t Pretty Woman, Sid. He’s not going to sweep you off your feet and fix all your problems. He’s not going to fall in love with you.”

Sid knows this but it still stings to hear. “I’m not expecting him to,” he says, voice stronger than he was expecting it to be. “I don’t want him to. It’s not about that. It’s about the money. He has it and I need it and this is what I’m going to do.”

“I just don’t want you to get hurt,” Kris says softly. “But you’re a grownup and you’ve been making your own decisions for years now. I guess I just gotta trust you on this. But that doesn’t mean I’m going to like it or that I’m not going to worry about you.”

Sid nods as Kris pulls him into a tight hug.

“Text me while you’re down there so I know nothings happened to you. You know I don’t trust rich people.”

Sid laughs as pats Kris on the back.

“Geno’s a good guy. I trust him.”

“Famous last words,” Kris says as he lets him go. “Now get out of here. Go live my dream and go quit this garbage job. Then go make your money.”


	6. Chapter 6

Geno has a private jet.

Sid’s not sure why he expected anything different but when the driver opens the door of the Town Car that Geno had sent for him and he steps directly onto the tarmac he’s still surprised.

Geno’s leaning against a hot red sports car with his phone in his hand and his legs crossed at the ankles.

He’s dressed in navy blue slacks and a white button down that’s open at the collar under a grey blazer.

In contrast, Sid’s in jogging pants and a sweatshirt with worn out sneakers on his feet. Overly casual to Geno’s perfect business casual look.

Sid’s a second away from diving back into the car and demanding that the driver bring him back to the hotel when Geno looks up and smiles.

He pockets his phone, pushes himself off the car, and crosses the distance between them before pressing a kiss to Sid’s cheek.

“That the only bag you have,” Geno asks as he takes the small duffle bag from the driver who grabbed it from the trunk.

“Yes,” Sid says tentatively as he watches suitcase after suitcase being loaded onto the plane behind them. “I’m only going to be gone for a week, right? How much do I need?” Geno shrugs and wraps an arm around his shoulders to guide him toward the stairs leading up to the jet.

“Anything you don’t have we just buy when we get there. Hope you at least pack bathing suit.”

“I don’t even have one of those,” Sid says and when Geno frowns at him he continues, “where would I even swim in the city? Where would I find the time?”

“Okay, all right,” Geno says as he tucks him tighter to his side. “I make call from the air. Have some waiting for you.”

 

The interior of the plane is small but luxurious with soft leather seats and clean white trim.

Geno has to duck his head and hunch his shoulders as he moves about the cabin and when he sits down across the aisle from Sid he stretches his legs out as far as they will go with a happy sigh.

“Can’t fly commercial,” he says as he rolls his ankles. “Not enough room.”

“Sorry I’m dressed like such a slob,” Sid says as he eyes the flight attendants in their crisply ironed blouses and skirts. He’s sure they’ll have a lot to say about him as soon as they touch down.

“Look comfortable,” Geno says. His arms are long enough to reach across the space between them and squeeze Sid’s thigh. “Look good.”

He pulls his hand away just as one of the flight attendants comes down the aisle to close the door.

“What did you tell them,” Sid whispers as he juts his chin toward her. “Who did you tell them I was?”

“Didn’t tell them anything,” Geno says simply. “None of their business.”

“But aren’t you afraid they’ll talk?”

“Talk to who?”

“I don’t know. The media. I can’t imagine it would be great for you if it got out that you hired a-.” He drops his voice even lower, “-prostitute to take with you on trips.”

“They talk they lose job. I pay them more than any gossip column could. They know this.”

Sid sits back in his seat and reaches for the seat belt as the captain’s voice crackles over the speakers.

Sid’s now willing to bet that this isn’t the first time Geno’s done something like this. He’s not the first person being paid to sit in this seat and for the flight attendants and the captain and the driver this is probably old news. It’s routine.

Sid walked onto this plane dressed as low rent as possible but this is really the first time he’s felt cheap.

He has nearly three hours in the air to think about it and by the time the jet touches down in Miami he’s decided that he’s going to have to be okay with it.

It doesn’t matter that there were others before him or that there will probably be people after him. He’s here now and he intends to work for his money.

The air in Miami is thick and humid and has Geno sliding off his blazar and rolling up his sleeves on their way to the car.

Geno holds the car door open for Sid and after quickly checking that there is a privacy divider between the front seats and the back, he pulls Geno in behind him and climbs onto his lap before the car door shuts.

“How long does it take to get to the hotel,” Sid asks as he nips gently at Geno’s earlobe.

“Ah….about twenty minutes,” Geno says, hands clutching at Sid’s back.

Sid hears the trunk close and a moment later the driver starts the car. Sid makes room for himself between Geno’s knees, a tight fit in the cramped backseat but somehow they make it work.

When he looks up at Geno he finds Geno looking down at him, eyes dark and dilated and lips parted.

Sid pulls his wallet from his pocket and fishes out a condom then licks his lips and reaches for Geno’s belt.

“Twenty minutes it more than enough time.”

 

Geno seems genuinely stricken that he’s not able to return the favor before the car stops in front of the hotel.

“Won’t be able to when we get to room either,” he says as he climbs out of the car ahead of Sid. “Have to go right to meetings.”

“I hope you at least have time to change first,” Sid says as he follows him toward the lobby of the hotel.

Geno looks a bit of a mess. His pants are wrinkled and his face is flushed. There’s sweat dotting his hairline and combined with his own puffy lips and messy hair, Sid feels like it’s so obvious what they got up to in the backseat.

Still, no one bats an eye at them in the lobby and check-in is quick and easy. The woman behind the desk hands Geno a key card and a bellhop rounds up their luggage.

“We’ll take next car up,” Geno says as the bellhop holds open the elevator door.

“You’re sure, Sir,” he asks, “there’s plenty of room in here.” He shifts the luggage cart to the side a bit more. There’s clearly enough room for the two of them and at least five more people.

“I’m sure,” Geno says and the bellhop lets the doors close.

“Why couldn’t we go with him,” Sid asks and Geno doesn’t say anything, just gives him a sidelong look and steps closer to him as they wait on one of the other elevators.

Everything clicks into place when Geno crowds him into the empty elevator and pushes him into the corner. Geno has his lips on Sid’s neck and his knee wedged between Sid’s thighs before the doors even close.

“How many floors are we going up,” Sid asks on a sigh as Geno works a hand up beneath his sweatshirt.

“Not enough to do what I want to you,” Geno says. “But enough to make you a little crazy.”

“It’s mean to leave me like this when you go to your meeting,” Sid whines and Geno huffs out a laugh before he kisses him properly.

“Give you something to think about for later.”

“You really think I think about anything else,” Sid says as the elevator dings and Geno slowly pulls away.

 

The suite Geno has booked is gorgeous and as Geno's handing the bellhop a wad of cash as a tip Sid goes to explore.

There’s a piano and a fireplace in the living room, a dining room with a kitchenette, and a media room with a plush leather couch and a huge television mounted on the wall. The bathroom is easily bigger than his old apartment with both a shower and a bathtub and the king sized bed in the bedroom is practically begging him to starfish out on it and fall asleep.

“You see view yet,” Geno asks as he breezes into the bedroom. There are two garnet bags over his arms and a half a dozen shopping bags in his hands. He puts everything on the end of the bed then grabs Sid’s hand and pulls him toward the balcony. It runs the length of the suite and offers a full view of the bay. The water sparkles in the sun as Geno wraps his arm around Sid’s waist and kisses the top of his head.

“Beautiful, yes,” he asks and Sid nods and leans back into his chest. “Looks pretty at night, too. But come now, have gifts for you.”

There are several different types of swim trunks in the shopping bags along with shorts, shirts, and shoes. There are two suits in the garment bags and Sid stares down at everything spread out on the bed while Geno ducks into the bathroom to wash his face and change his pants.

“Try everything on,” Geno calls. “Guessed at sizes, can have things altered if you need. Keep whatever you like.”

“Okay,” Sid says a he runs his hand down the front of the suit. “You can take it out of my pay, I guess.”

Geno pokes his head out of the bathroom, face pulled down into a deep frown.

“You not paying for anything, Sid. You leave at end of week with money we talk about. I take care of everything else. When you go to spa or order drink down at the bar by the pool you give them my name. They’ll know what to do.” He bends over and pulls an envelope out of the front pocket of his suitcase and hands it to Sid. There’s a prepaid credit card inside. “If you shop or eat outside the hotel use that. Plenty of money. Need more just ask.”

Sid won’t be doing that.

“I think I’m just gonna hang around the room for today. If that’s all right?”

“If you want.”

“I might take a bath and then a nap. Hey, do you think that bathtub could fit the both of us.”

Geno steps forward and kisses his forehead. “I think maybe we find out later. Have to go, going to be late. Maybe tomorrow you go out? Spend some money.”

“Maybe,” Sid says as Geno kisses him goodbye.

“We go out to dinner tonight,” Geno calls back to him as he walks through the suite toward the door. “See you later!”

The door shuts behind him and Sid pulls out his phone and calls Kris.

“You made it,” Kris says instead of a hello. “You’re still alive? He didn’t chop you up and sell your body parts on the black market.”

“Not yet,” Sid hums as he upends the bag of swim trunks on the bed. He’s going to assume the Speedo is there as a joke. “You should see this place, it’s amazing.”

“Send me pictures. Maybe wait until richy-rich is gone though. You don’t want to seem like you’re showing off.”

“He’s gone. He had to get to a meeting.”

“So he just left you alone in a hotel room?”

“A really nice hotel room and he didn’t leave me alone. He left me with a pile of clothing I’m supposed to try on and a credit card and the assurance that everything I do this week is already paid for. All I have to do is mention his name, which, obviously, I’m not going to do.”

“Mention it. Spend it. Spend every bit of money that he’s willing to spend on you.”

“I can’t do that.”

“Yes you can. Obviously spending money on you gets him off and that’s what you’re there to do, right?”

Sid picks through the shorts and shirts and sets aside the ones that he likes. “I guess so. There’s some really nice stuff here. And I think the restaurant downstairs has some amazing desserts.”

“There you go. Enjoy yourself. You deserve it.”

Sid sighs and looks out the sliding glass doors at the water. “Maybe.”

“Definitely. I might still not like you doing this but I am a big fan of exploiting the rich. Now wish me luck, I have to be at an audition in two minutes and I’m still ten minutes away.”

“Good luck,” Sid says, “I’ll send you pictures.”

“And keep checking in. If that guy kills you I’m coming down to Miami personally and kicking his ass.”

Kris hangs up and Sid tosses the phone onto the bed. Then he starts to try on the new clothes.

He decides to keep two pairs of trunks, three pairs of shorts, six shirts, two pair of shoes, and one of the suits. It nearly doubles his wardrobe and he’ll need to either start looking for an apartment as soon as he gets back to the city to make room for it or donate most of it.

He also decides that it’s a problem for another day as he fills up the tub with hot water and drops in a bath bomb he found nestled in the basket of toiletries on the sink.

It foams and bubbles, turning the water a soft lavender and perfuming the air and he thinks that maybe he should have saved that for when Geno got back. But then he also thinks that maybe Geno could buy a hundred of them with a snap of his fingers and lowers himself into the water.

He stays until the water turns cool and his skin turns pruny and he means to get dressed and explore the hotel a little. He’s so relaxed he’s sure a massage would put him right out but maybe he could check out the pool-just to look-or wander down to the beach.

Instead, he pulls the curtains closed, pulls the covers back on the bed, crawls beneath them, and falls asleep.

 

The room is still dark when he wakes up but there’s no light creeping in beneath the bottom of the curtains.

There’s a hand in his hair and a solid weight on the bed beside him and when his body jerks up Geno shushes him and presses him back down with a hand on his shoulder.

“Didn’t mean to wake,” Geno says quietly. “Get back a little while ago. Been sleeping this whole time?”

“I didn’t mean to,” Sid says. “But I took a bath-.”

Geno makes a noise of interest then leans down and presses his nose into the back of Sid’s neck. “Smell good.”

“The bed is really comfortable,” Sid says. “This is probably the most comfortable I’ve been in...ever, probably.”

“Good,” Geno says as he pets his hand down the side of Sid’s neck. “Was going to take you out for dinner but maybe we just order in? Can eat out on balcony?” Sid nods and Geno makes a call down to the front desk as he slowly strips himself of his suit.

By the time the food comes he’s down to his pants and his undershirt and Sid has pulled himself out of bed and onto the balcony where a warm breeze ruffles his hair.

They eat fresh fish and drink white wine and after, while Sid is unabashedly destroying a dark chocolate brownie topped with praline ice cream, Geno pulls Sid’s barefoot into his lap and presses his thumbs against the arch.

Sid moans around the spoon, either from the pressure from Geno’s hands or the taste of the brownie or the ice cream or all three things combined, and Geno smiles.

“You have a good day,” he asks even though he has to already know the answer.

Sid licks the spoon clean and puts it down on the side of his plate then he pulls his foot back from Geno’s lap and stands.

He steps between Geno’s knees and cards his hands through Geno’s hair, tipping his head back.

“I had a great day,” Sid tells him then reaches down for his hand so he pull him up and lead him through the door to the bedroom. “But it’s about to get a lot better.”


	7. Chapter 7

In the morning they eat out on the patio in the morning sun, not quite strong or high enough in the sky to be uncomfortable yet.

Geno’s in a polo and khaki pants and spends more time complaining about the investor that’s flying in this morning that he has to play golf with than looking at the menu.

“Hate golf,” Geno gripes, “worst sport.”

Sid sips on freshly squeezed orange juice and smiles around the rim of the glass each time Geno shifts across from him and Sid catches sight of one of the marks he left behind on Geno’s neck.

“French toast is good,” Geno says with a sigh and Sid blinks at him. “For breakfast. Where you go? What you staring at?”

“Your neck,” Sid says and Geno presses his hand to the side of it. “The polo does nothing to hide those marks.”

Geno pulls at the collar of shirt and Sid shakes his head. It’s not helping.

Geno rolls his eyes and shrugs. “Oh well.” He hooks his ankle around Sid’s beneath the table. “Worth it.”

Sid looks down at his menu and tries to decide between an omelette and pancakes as Geno runs his foot up and down his calf.

 

They part ways in the lobby.

Geno makes sure Sid has a room key, the credit card, and some extra cash before he kisses his forehead and says “wish me luck.”

“Good luck,” Sid says back. “And remember, you’re trying to get the lowest score in golf.”

“Thank you for reminder,” Geno says with a shake of his head. “Have fun today. Remember to mention my name if you have any problem.” Then he kisses Sid’s cheek and walks out the front doors and into a car that’s idling at the curb leaving Sid alone in the lobby.

Geno rolls down the window as the car begins to pull away and waves. Sid laughs and waves back then jams his hands in his pockets and tries to figure out what to do first.

 

The credit card and the cash feel like a lead weight in his pocket so he ducks into the gift shop right off the lobby and makes his first purchase.

He spends 12.50 on two key chains, one for Kris and one for Flower as a thank you for the food, and tries not to feel guilty about it. He’d never spend that much on two tiny piece of cheap metal when he could spend it on a hot meal or put it on his Metrocard. Then he takes a deep breath and reminds himself that this isn’t his money and that this is what Geno wants him to do.

He pockets the key chains then follows the directions he gets from the concierge and goes to find the spa.

The reception area in the spa is all clean lines and soft lighting. Soft, tinkling music plays over through the speakers placed around the room as Sid steps up the front desk and is greeted by a young woman with a high, shiny ponytail who asks him if he has a reservation.

Sid’s face burns as he stutters out, “I didn’t know I need one.”

The woman nods and taps on the keyboard in front of her. “I can try to squeeze you in tomorrow,” she says. “What room are you staying in?”

“In one of the suites on the top floor,” Sid says and her fingers so still on the keyboard. “I don’t know the number but I’m staying with Evgeni Malkin.”

Her head snaps up. “You’re a guest of Mr. Malkin’s,” she asks and when Sid nods she gestures for him to take a seat in the waiting area. “Someone will be with you shortly. Can I get you anything to drink? Can I suggest the herbal tea?”

“Okay,” Sid says hesitantly, stunned at the power Geno’s name seems to hold and the woman hurries off.

Sid’s only sitting there for a minute before another woman, who introduces herself as June, escorts him back through the halls of the spa to a private room. He changes into a plush white robe and bamboo sandals before he’s handed his cup of tea and brought back down the hallway toward the steam room. June opens the door and steam billows out.

“We recommend a ten minute steam before any of our treatments,” she explains. “Someone will be back for you shortly. I hope you enjoy your stay, Mr. Crosby.”

“Thank you,” Sid calls after her then sits down on the warm stone bench and takes a deep breath as the tension melts out of his body.

 

-

 

“It was amazing,” Sid tells Geno later over dinner. “It started with this foot soak and then I got my massage and she used all these oils and this scrub that made my skin so soft and I swear she found knots in my muscles that I didn’t even know I had.”

Geno smiles and nods as he picks up a piece of California roll with his chopsticks and holds it out for Sid.

Sid takes it and chews hastily before he continues. “And then she gave me a foot massage and then this head massage thing that almost put me to sleep. And then I went out to lay by the pool and did actually fall asleep.”

Geno laughs into his sake.

“I’m actually thinking about going back tomorrow for a pedicure, would that be weird?”

Geno shakes his head. “Course not. Get manicure too. Feels good to treat yourself, yes?”

“Yeah, for sure,” Sid agrees. “Everyone was so nice to me. Is that how it is when you have money? People just do things for you? Make things happen?”

Geno chews slowly and nods. “Not always good thing,” he says seriously. But glad you had a good time.”

“Yeah. How was golf? Sorry, I didn’t ask before.”

Geno shrugs. “Better not to talk about it. Didn’t get lowest score. Stupid, stupid sport.”

“Maybe you just need more practice,” Sid says and when Geno glares at him he laughs, feeling bubbly and light. “Maybe you need a massage. I can see you’re carrying a lot of tension in your shoulders right now. You know they have a couples package. Not that we’re a couple,” he adds quickly and panics on the inside as Geno frowns down at his plate. “I didn’t mean-.”

“Maybe you give me a massage when we get back to room,” Geno says with a sparkle in his eyes. “Maybe facial, too,” he adds with a wink and Sid forgets all about the promise of a dessert menu.

 

Sid drags Geno into the spa boutique when they get back to the hotel so he can buy a bottle of massage oil. He can tell the woman behind the counter _knows_ what they’re about to get up to but Sid can’t find it in himself to care. Not with Geno’s hand at never leaving the small of his back and his lips brushing against the shell of his ear as he whispers exactly what he wants to do to him when they get behind closed doors.

In the elevator Geno wraps his arms around Sid from behind and pulls him flush against his body. He grinds a little against Sid’s ass and nips at his earlobe and Sid almost drops the bag that the oil is in in favor of turning around and pushing Geno against the wall.

But he holds out and when the elevator dings and the doors open he works his way out of Geno’s arms and waits by the door to their room.

“Are you coming,” he asks and Geno springs forward and drops the key card three times before he slides it successfully opens the door.

He kisses Sid against the door jam, long and slow, before Sid gets impatient and pulls him into the room by the collar of his shirt.


	8. Chapter 8

Sid smiles down at his phone and shakes his head before he plug it into the charger.

“Who texting you,” Geno asks and Sid turns around. He’s still sideways on the bed, arms and legs spread out across the whole mattress. He looks sleepy and strung out from the surprisingly athletic sex they just had. What started out as sensual with Sid sitting across his ass rubbing orange and ginger massage oil into his skin quickly turned heated when Geno rolled over and pinned him to the mattress. “Make you smile like that,” Geno continues and waggles his eyebrows. “Make me jealous?”

“It’s just a friend,” Sid says. “I sent him a picture of the bay from the balcony earlier. I hope that’s okay. I didn’t use your real name or anything. No specifics.”

“Of course okay. Is not a secret that you’re here.”

“He’s a little wary, I guess. He worries.”

“Good friend. Good to have someone look out for you.”

“Yeah,” Sid says as he climbs onto the bed, folding one legs beneath him. “He’s great. I don’t have a lot of people that do that for me. Basically it’s just him."

“Is he….” Geno trails off for a moment. “Like you?”

Sid frowns, puzzled at his words and then it clicks. “No. He’s not like me. He’s a model. Or he wants to be. He had an audition today but I don’t think he got it. He was really late.”

“He good looking,” Geno asks and Sid nods. “Tell him to send me portfolio. Always looking for new faces for clothing line.”

“Are you serious?”

Geno nods and reaches out to lazily rub his fingers back and forth over Sid’s thigh. “I don’t get final say, I leave that up to creative directors but can’t hurt to get his face out there.”

“He’s going to know for sure who you are.”

"Don't matter."

Sid leans forward to kiss him and when he leans back Geno’s looking at him all soft and fond.

“Thank you,” Sid says. “I’m sure he’ll really appreciate that. I appreciate it.”

“Friend of yours, must be good guy. Happy to help.” He nods toward the phone on the nightstand. “Going to tell him?”

“In the morning,” Sid says with a yawn as he lies down beside Geno with his head on his shoulder. “It’s late.”

Geno wraps his arm around Sid’s shoulders and rests his cheek on the top of his head and Sid quickly drifts off.

 

-

 

When Sid wakes up he’s alone in bed but the light in the bathroom is on and the water in the sink is running. He feels like he’s slept for twenty years and could easily sleep for another twenty if Geno would just come back to bed.

He slides out from beneath the covers and pads over to the bathroom and finds Geno dressed only in dark grey slacks and a towel around his shoulders. His hair is styled, pushed back from his forehead and his face cheeks and chin are covered in shaving cream. The sink in front of him is filled with water and he dips the razor he has in his hand into it each time he passes is over his skin.

Sid watches for a long moment, just takes him in as he goes about his routine, then sighs and crosses his arms over his chest and leans against the door frame.

“Late,” he asks and Geno’s eyes flick over to his as he swipes away the last bit of shaving cream with the blade of the razor.

“Very late,” Geno says as he swishes the razor back and forth in the water then drains the sink. “Very, very late.” He uses the towel to wipe away any remaining shaving cream but misses a spot by his ear and Sid pushes himself away from the door and rubs it off with his thumb.

“Missed a spot,” he says and Geno circles his fingers around Sid’s elbow and tugs until he’s standing in front of him, trapped between Geno’s body and the sink.

“How mad are they going to be if you’re just a _little bit_ more late,” Sid asks as he loops his arms around Geno’s neck.

Geno sucks a kiss against Sid’s collar bone, freshly shaved and soft face brushing against his skin as he says “am boss. Nobody can be mad at me.”

“Then maybe you should stay,” Sid says as he hops onto the counter, pulls Geno between his knees and works open Geno’s belt. “Just for a little while.”

 

It’s almost noon by the time Geno actually leaves for work. He takes a second shower, “alone,” he insists as he untangles Sid’s hands from his own, “you distract me. Make me more late.”

Sid stretches out in the bed, arching his back and feeling his joints pop. He could go for another massage. “Take the whole day off,” he says and watches Geno’s face darken with desire as he looks him over.

“Bad,” Geno says as he takes a step backwards toward the bathroom. “You bad for business.”

“But good for other things,” Sid calls after him and Geno laughs as the shower starts.

When he comes out ten minutes later he’s fully dressed and no amount of coy looks from Sid can get him back into bed.

“Tonight,” he says as he runs his fingers through Sid’s tangled curls. “We go out tonight again. Maybe go dancing.”

“I don’t dance. I’m a bad dancer.”

“Just never dance with me before,” Geno says, “change your mind.” He pecks Sid on the lips. “Have a good day, люби́мый.”

“What does that mean, that last part?”

Geno purses his lips and shakes his head. “Means goodbye.”

“I don’t believe you,” Sid says through narrowed eyes and Geno shrugs.

“Guess you have to learn Russian.”

 

-

 

Sid orders lunch to be delivered to the room and after tipping the bellhop an overly generous amount he eats it out on the balcony and calls Kris.

“Okay,” Kris says slowly after Sid tells him to send Geno is portfolio, “when you said rich I didn’t know you meant Evgeni Malkin rich. Jesus, Sid.”

“Are you going to send him your stuff or not?”

“Yeah but….this isn’t….you don’t owe him anything for this do you?”

“What do you mean?”

“This isn’t a favor?”

“It was his idea.”

“But it’s not a sex thing is it?”

Sid pauses and then says “what the hell are you talking about?”

“I don’t want you to do something you don’t want to do just because of me. Just because he’s getting me a job-.”

“He’s not getting you a job. He getting you the opportunity to get a job. He’s just passing it along is all and trust me, there’s nothing that he asks me to do that I don’t want to do.”

“So he’s just doing this to be nice?”

“He is nice. He said he likes that I have someone that’s looking out for me. I think he gets that this job probably isn’t always the safest.”

Kris grunts. “He kind of sounded like a douche in that article about him.”

“He did not!”

 

-

 

Sid heads down to the pool after he eats with the goal to fall asleep beneath in one of the lounge chairs beneath one of the umbrellas like he did the day before. He feels like he needs to make up a decades worth of sleep in a week and he’s already well on his way.

There are a few people in the water hanging around the edge of the pool but almost all of the lounge chairs are taken. There’s a group of women, all slim and tan and beautiful, in the row that Sid sat in yesterday and the only open chair is filled with their bags and towels. His only other option is to go down to the private beach and try his luck there.

He’s must look unsure because one of the women pushes her sunglasses up to the top of her head and grabs a bag off the chair.

“Come sit down, hun,” she says as she moves another bag and a towel. “We can move these things for you.”

The woman on the other side of the chair helps her clear off the chair and thanks them both and sits down feeling only slightly out of his element.

“I’m Carolyn,” the first woman says as she holds her hand out and nods to the women on the other side of Sid. “That’s Amy, Jenna, and Stephanie.”

All of the women except for Stephanie, who keeps her shades on and doesn’t even turn to look at Sid, smile and wave at him.

“So who are you here with,” Amy asks and Sid starts to sweat.

“What do you mean?” “Who’s your guy,” Jenna asks, “or girl. I forget women pay sometimes too.”

“Oh.” Sid wants to run. “I don’t know-.”

“It’s okay,” Carolyn says as she lays her hand on Sid’s arm. “I’m here with Michael O’Connor. He runs some bank in Switzerland or something.” “My guy is a plastic surgeon,” Amy says and Jenna leans across her to add “I have an orthodontist.”

“Like recognize like,” Amy tells him. “Is this your first time down here? No offense but you don’t exactly look like you’re comfortable here.”

Sid is extremely uncomfortable.

“I heard Evgeni Malkin in here,” Jenna says.

Sid twitches and the women are entirely too perceptive and pick up on it immediately.

“Oh,” Carolyn says and everyone looks down toward Stephanie who finally sits up. Even though she still has her sunglasses on Sid can tell that the look she gives him is murderous.

“You’re here with Geno,” she asks and Sid nods.

“Do you know him?”

“I used to,” she says flatly. “Until he started spending so much time up north. I was wondering what he had gotten up to. Looks like I found out.”

“Stephanie, relax,” Jenna says. “You know how men are. You knew this was going to happen.”

“Doesn’t mean I have to like it,” she says, voice tinged with malice as she looks Sid over. “Or him. I think I’ll go back to my room now.”

“God, Stef,” Carolyn says with a roll of her eyes. “Don’t be so dramatic.”

Stephanie shakes her head and grabs her bag. “He’ll get tired of you too,” she says as she stands in front of Sid. “Just wait. He’ll get bored and he’ll find someone better, someone new. They all do. You’ll learn.”

She storms off and Carolyn touches his shoulder. “Don’t worry about here. She’s just upset she’s missing out on a good payday. He is paying you well, isn’t he?”

Sid nods and feels numb all over. He knew this wasn’t the first time Geno had done something like this with someone like him but to come face to face with the past like that and have her spell out his future, or lack thereof, with Geno so clearly….it's left him feeling empty.

“How’d you two meet anyways,” Amy asks and for a moment Sid doesn’t remember.

“Outside a bar,” he says finally. “Some guy was giving him a hard time. Geno helped me.”

“Awww,” Jenna coos. “Stephanie never had a bad thing to say about him. Until, well, you know. But they had some good times together. I hope you have a good time with him. It’s nice to spend time with someone you genuinely like every once in a while, isn’t it?”

Sid can’t remember the last time he actually liked someone he was sleeping with. The last time someone else’s hands felt comfortable against his skin, the last time he _wanted_ to be touched.

And that’s the problem.

He’s in way too deep and always has been.

This is simply a business transaction and he needs to start treating it like one.

He stays by the pool for the most of the day and heads back to the hotel room when the sun starts to go down so he can pace the floor.

Geno will want to go out when he gets back from the office. He had mentioned dancing and even though Sid had pushed back this morning, truthfully, he was looking forward to spending a few hours pressed up against Geno in a hot and crowded club.

But now he has to keep his distance. No unnecessary contact. No feelings. He’s not an escort. He shouldn’t be taken out and paraded around. His goal has always been to find some guy, get him off in his car or a hotel room, get paid, and be on his way. Nothing more.

Now it’s snowballed into this. Resorts and spas and expensive dinner. A credit card in his pocket and expectations.

_Feelings._

The door to the hotel room opens and Sid squares his shoulders and takes a deep breath. He’s ready to get this whole thing under control but when he turns around and gets his first look at Geno all the fight melts right out of him.

Geno looks terrible. Hunched shoulders and pinched face. He looks tired and sick, his jacket off and his shirt and pants are wrinkled like he tried to lay down in the car. He squints at the light on nightstand before he covers his face with his hand.

“What’s wrong,” Sid asks as he takes a step toward him.

Geno flinches and pulls his hand so he can press his index finger to his lips.

“Too loud,” Geno says softly. “Headache. Maybe migraine. Came on fast.”

“Did you take anything,” Sid whispers and Geno shakes his head, wincing in pain. “Come sit down,” Sid says as he leads Geno over to the bed. “I know what to do.”

Sid makes a quick call down to the front desk as Geno sits on the edge of the bed with his elbows on his knees and his head in his hands. He looks like he’s in agony and Sid doesn’t know how _not_ to help him.

He hangs up the phone and crouches down in front of Geno and starts to unbutton his shirt.

Geno shakes his head. “Sid, I can’t-.”

“No, we’re not doing that,” Sid says as he slides button after button through the holes. “I just want to make you more comfortable.” He pulls the shirt off Geno’s shoulders and presses his hand to Geno’s forehead.

Geno leans into the touch as Sid drags his hand down Geno’s face to cup his cheek.

“Can you get your pants off,” he asks when there’s a knock at the door and Geno nods and gets slowly to his feet.

Sid flicks the light off on the nightstand on his way by and gets the door.

He throws a wad of cash at the bellhop as a thanks and takes the bucket of ice and box of Advil and heads back into the bedroom.

Geno’s still sitting on the edge of the bed and Sid places the ice and the medicine on the nightstand so he can run into the bathroom and grab a face cloth. He runs it under cold water then hurries into the kitchenette to grab a bottle of water out of the fridge.

When he comes back into the bedroom he closes the drapes, blocking out as much light as he can, before he cracks open the water bottle and hands it to Geno.

“Take a sip,” he instructs and as Geno takes small sips, Sid opens the Advil and hands Geno two pills.

Geno pops them into his mouth and takes another drink then Sid climbs onto the bed and moves the pillows around so he can lean back against the headboard. He puts one pillow in his lap then asks Geno to scootch back on the bed until his head is on the pillow.

Sid places the damp face cloth over Geno’s eyes once he gets settled. “Does it need to be colder,” Sid asks, “I have ice.”

“Is fine,” Geno says softly and Sid dips his hands into the ice bucket, getting his fingers nice and cold, before he presses them to Geno’s scalp.

Geno hums as Sid moves his fingers is small circles from Geno’s temples to the crown of his head, down toward his ears then to the base of his skull before he runs them down to his shoulders and back up again.

He stops every so often to dip his hands back into the ice before he starts again, pausing once to dip the face cloth into the ice cold water that’s collected at the bottom of the bucket before laying it back over his eyes.

“Are you feeling any better,” Sid asks after the tenth time he’s raked his fingers across Geno’s head.

“Little bit,” Geno answers. “How’d you know to do this?”

“My Mom used to get migraines,” Sid says as he brushes his fingers against Geno’s temples. “Cold used to help her. My Dad used to do this.”

“Tell them thank you for figuring it out.”

Sid presses his lips together. He should leave it. It’s not like he’ll ever bring up his parents again. Geno will never know.

But, just like everything else having to do with Geno, he doesn’t listen to common sense and opens his mouth.

“They died,” he says bluntly and Geno sucks in a sharp breath. “It was a long time ago. It’s fine.”

“Didn’t know,” Geno says as he takes the cloth off his face and looks up at Sid, “sorry.”

“Of course you didn’t know,” Sid says. “There’s nothing to be sorry for.”

“Sid-.”

“It wasn’t anyone’s fault,” Sid says loudly. “Wasn’t even my Dad’s fault. It was icy and he lost control and that’s that. I was fine,” he says as he frowns down at the top of Geno’s head. This is more than he wants to be talking about but he can’t seem to make himself stop.

“You were in the car,” Geno asks, panicked edge to his voice.

“Yes,” Sid says clinically. “We all had our seat belts on and everything but I guess being in the back seat made the difference.”

Geno pushes himself up even though Sid tries to keep him down. “Sidney.”

“It’s fine, Geno, really.” His voice shakes as his eyes sting with unshed tears. “Please, lay back down, you’re going to trigger another migraine and then we’ll have to start all over again. The ice is almost melted and some poor guy will have to come all the way up here with more and-.” He pauses and takes a shuddering breath but when the first tear falls he know he can’t keep the rest back.

“Oh, ми́лый,” Geno says as he gathers Sid against his chest while Sid tries to wipe frantically at his eyes.

“I’m fine,” he says again but Geno only holds him closer, rocking him back and forth and making soft, soothing sounds.

Geno pulls back just enough to cup Sid’s cheek in his hand and wipe the falling tears with his thumb then makes a low sound before he pulls Sid in for gentle kiss.

 _He doesn’t care about you,_ Sid’s head screams at him but his heart kicks into overdrive as he kisses Geno back.

Geno doesn't let it linger, even as Sid’s hands claw into the back of Geno’s t-shirt in a desperate attempt to replace to drown out the sadness in the depth of Geno’s body.

Geno untangles himself from Sid’s grasp and after pressing a kiss to Sid’s hair he manhandles him beneath the covers and then slides in beside him.

They lay facing each other, Sid with his eyes squeezed shut, too embarrassed to even look through the darkness at Geno, while Geno slowly runs his fingers through Sid’s hair, just as Sid had done to him.

It’s all so fucked.

“Sleep,” Geno says as he wraps his arm around Sid and pulls him close so Sid’s face is pressed against Geno’s chest, his heartbeat strong and steady in his ear.


	9. Chapter 9

Sid cups the water in his hands and splashes it on his face. He takes a deep breath and looks up at his reflection.

His eyes are red and feel itchy and sore. His head aches and he feels exhausted even though he’s been sleeping in Geno’s arms for the past eight hours.

He leans on the sink and hangs his head.

Geno’s still asleep in the next room, tucked deep beneath the cover and snoring softly.

Sid wants to run. It’s so tempting. He could leave everything behind except the money he needs to book a flight and catch a ride to the airport.

He dries his face and drops the towel onto the counter.

When he peeks into the bedroom Geno is just beginning to stir. He blinks up at Sid then pats the empty space beside him, still warm from Sid’s body heat.

Sid crosses the distance between them but doesn’t crawl back into bed.

Running wouldn’t solve anything but climbing back into bed is the wrong thing to do.

“The alarm is going to go off soon,” Sid whispers as Geno stretches his arm across the bed. “You should get up for work.”

“Not going,” Geno says. “Going to take the day off.”

“Really? And do what?”

Geno shrugs one shoulder. “Hang out,” he says as his fingers tap against the mattress. “Sid. About last night-.”

“You should get up anyways,” Sid interrupts. “I’m hungry. We missed dinner last night.”

 

Geno dresses casually at breakfast. Or as casually as he can in linen shorts and a short sleeved button up shirt. He has his sunglasses on as they sit out on the patio.

“So what are we going to do today,” Sid asks and Geno pokes at his omelet.

“Didn’t have any plans. Thought maybe I’d just follow you around if it’s okay. You say something about couples massage.”

Sid takes a sip of his mimosa and carefully sets the glass down on the table. “Actually, do you think we could get away from the hotel for a little while? Explore a little.”

“If you want,” Geno says, “have any idea what you want to do?”

Sid smiles at him over the table. “I think I might.”

 

Back in the room they change into swim trunks. Sid laughs at Geno when he insists upon keeping the button down but lets Sid yank his shoes off and shove flip flops on his feet.

“Look bad, Sid.”

“You look like a tourist,” Sid says as he wiggles his own toes. “You’ve forgotten how to be a normal person. Are you ready to go?”

Geno nods and pulls out his phone. “Going to call for a car.”

“Lets walk,” Sid says and Geno blinks at him. “It’s better that way. If we see a store or something we want to go into we can just go.”

“We can just ask car to stop.”

“I’m used to walking,” Sid says as he pushes Geno’s phone back toward his pocket. “In the city the trains never run on time and the bus isn’t much better. Ubers and Lyfts don’t like to go across town and cabs are way too expensive. So I just walk.”

Geno looks unconvinced but he puts his phone back into his pocket and follows Sid out of the room and into the elevator.

 

Out on the sidewalk Geno has to shorten his strides so he can fall into step beside Sid.

“Warm,” Geno says as he pulls on the collar of his shirt and Sid rolls his eyes and laughs.

“You’re ridiculous,” he says fondly as he reaches up and unbuttons Geno’s shirt halfway down his chest. Sid lets his fingers linger over Geno’s heart. “Feel better now,” he asks and Geno nods.

“Lots,” he says and Sid slowly drops his hand back to his side.

There’s a private beach at the hotel but Sid drags Geno to the public one twenty minutes away.

They buy overpriced towels and sunscreen at one of the surf shops along shore and spread them out in one of the few open spots they can find.

“I can’t even remember the last time I was at the beach,” Sid says as he lays on his stomach and pillows his head on his arms. Geno’s just finishing rubbing sunscreen into his own skin then leans over and squeezes some onto Sid’s back. “My parents used to take me for my birthday. One of the benefits to having a summer birthday.”

“When’s your birthday,” Geno asks as he rubs the lotion across Sid’s shoulders.

“Beginning of August.”

Geno’s hands go still. “I know you at the beginning of August. Should have told me. Would have celebrated.” He runs his hands up to Sid’s neck, being careful to cover Sid’s ears so they don’t burn. Then he leans down and kisses the nape of Sid’s neck. “Maybe next year,” he says.

 _You’ll have someone new by then,_ Sid thinks as Geno runs his hands down to the small of Sid’s back.

They doze in the sand until Sid feels hot and sticky from the sun and pulls Geno to his feet and pushes him toward the water.

It’s warmer than the waters off the coast of Nova Scotia and when he gets in up to his waist Geno steps up behind him and wraps his arms around him.

“Don’t push me in,” Sid warns and Geno nuzzles his face against Sid’s neck.

“Would never,” Geno says. He kisses the top of Sid’s shoulder then promptly pushes him in.

Sid comes up sputtering and Geno laughs out an apology even as Sid grabs his arm and yanks him forward.

They dry off on their towels, sand and salt sticking to their skin. His hair is a mess but Geno bats his hands away when he tries to straighten it out.

“Leave it,” he says as he wraps his finger around a curl and tugs.

“It needs to be cut,” Sid mumbles but leaves his hands out of his hair.

 

They walk along the street that runs parallel to the shore, ducking into any shop that catches their eyes, buying little trinkets and eating cheap tacos from carts. Geno’s cheeks are pink from the sun as Sid watches him lick salsa off his top lip and Sid has to lean over and kiss him.

“What’s that for,” Geno asks and Sid shrugs and takes another bite of his taco.

Sid pulls Geno in museums and art galleries and Geno groans each time but follows him in anyways with a smile on his face.

Somewhere between the Art Deco Museum and The Bass Geno reaches for Sid’s hand at his side and laces their fingers together.

Sid looks up, abruptly, but Geno doesn’t look over. He just bites his bottom lip and it’s the first time Sid’s ever seen him look nervous.

Sid doesn’t say anything, just looks straight ahead as they work their way past a few slow walking tourists but while waiting for the light to change at the intersection Sid squeezes Geno’s hand.

Sid’s still not looking at him but he can almost _feel_ the smile that Geno gives him.

 

They eat dinner at some hole in the wall that serves some of the best Caribbean food Sid’s ever had.

“You can call for a ride back to the hotel if you want,” Sid says after they step out onto the sidewalk. He’s tired and they’re miles from the hotel. His feet are aching in his flip flops, his skin feels tight along his shoulders where he knows he’s sunburnt, and even though the bags filled with cheap souvenirs are small, they’re beginning to weigh him down.

Geno doesn’t reach for his phone. He just stands there staring at the busker a little ways down the street strumming something softly on his guitar, case open at his feet in front of him.

“Geno?”

“Come,” Geno says as he takes the bags out of Sid’s hands and sets them down against the building. “Never got to dance last night.”

“I said I don’t dance,” Sid hisses as he tries to dig his heels into concrete but Geno tosses a few bills into the open guitar case and tugs Sid into his arms.

“See,” Geno says as he presses his cheek against Sid’s. “Not so bad.”

Sid shuts his eyes and he lays his head on Geno’s shoulder as they sway to the music.

 

Back in the hotel room they drop their bags by the doors and stumble toward the bed, kissing and pulling at each other’s clothing the whole time.

Sid makes the mistake of wincing when he raises his arms, the burnt skin on his shoulders pulling tightly.

“Sorry,” Geno says as he peppers Sid’s face with kisses and everything slows way down after that. When Geno touches him Sid can barely feel it, like he’s going to fall apart in his arms.

“Come on,” Sid says as he grinds down on Geno’s lap trying to hurry him along.

“Don’t want to hurt you,” Geno says as he runs his hands across Sid’s thighs.

“It doesn’t matter,” Sid says and Geno cups Sid’s face.

“Matter if I hurt you,” Sid,” Geno says fiercely, “never going to hurt you. You know that? Need you to know.”

“Okay,” Sid says with a nod as he leans in and kisses him, “okay.”

They undress slowly, running their hands over each other’s bodies like it’s the first time and when Geno starts to pull away so he can grab a condom that they’ve hidden away in the bedside table, Sid wraps his legs around Geno’s waist and holds him in place.

“Don’t,” Sid says as Geno stares down at him. “It’s okay. I don’t want to stop.” _I don’t want you to let go of me._

“Okay,” Geno says as he kisses the corner of Sid’s mouth and settles down into the cradle of his hips. “Okay.”

When Geno presses into him Sid bites his lip to keep himself from crying out as he feels every inch of him.

He whimpers instead and Geno freezes. He pushes Sid’s sweaty hair off his forehead.

“Okay, Sid,” he asks and Sid nods and arches his back.

“Keep going,” he says. His voice shakes. “You feel so good.”

Geno slides the rest of the way in, his lips moving against Sid’s cheek and the hinge of his jaw, saying the same thing in Russian over and over again, words running together. Sid gasps as Geno bottoms out and Geno presses their foreheads together as he starts to move.

When it’s over, Sid’s the one that hauls himself out of bed so he can grab a towel to clean them both up.

Geno laughs softly as Sid’s feet get tangled in one of their shirts and to retaliate Sid soaks the towel in cold water instead of warm.

“Mean,” Geno says as he flinches back when Sid drags the towel across his stomach.

“You shouldn’t have laughed,” Sid says as he tosses the towel back toward the bathroom and crawls back beneath the sheets.

“Sid,” Geno says and Sid hums as he pushes at the pillow until it’s in the right spot beneath his head. “Guys mean to you,” he asks and Sid turns sharply to look at him. He can barely make out Geno’s features in the dim light. “They hurt you?”

“No,” Sid says immediately and then adds, “not anymore.”

The flood gates open up after that. Sid tells him about the first time in his dorm room, how he only meant to do it to pay for textbooks and get some extra money in his pocket. He was going to stop. Then reality set in when he graduated and didn’t immediately fall into a full time job. He had rent and bills and loans to pay and how in the beginning he couldn’t afford to be picky with clients. Some were nice and some were less than and Geno’s hand tightens on Sid’s hip like he’s worried about what he’s going to hear.

“It got better,” Sid says. “I cut some corners and learned how to save money. I could turn a guy down if I wanted. I wasn’t as desperate.” He doesn’t tell Geno about how he might be slipping back into that desperation. That he doesn’t have an apartment or a job and twenty thousand dollars will really only go so far.

“Should always be able to say no,” Geno says and Sid nods.

“Most of the guys are nice. I think a lot of them are just lonely. They just want someone to talk to, someone to listen. Some guys, that’s all they want. They just want me to hold them, they don’t even want sex. It’s easier to pay me than to go out and meet someone.”

“You think I’m lonely,” Geno asks and Sid shakes his head.

“I think you’re not like anyone I’ve ever met before,” Sid tells him and Geno rolls closer toward him, their legs tangled together beneath the sheets. “I think you’re sweet and funny and generous and you’ve treated me better than I probably deserve to be treated.”

“Deserve more than I can give you.” Geno kisses his forehead. “Want to give you everything,” he says and between one breath and the next he’s asleep.

Sid lies there and holds him, feeling Geno’s warm breath against his neck, until Sid’s chest feels too tight and he has to get up.

Geno’s face scrunches up as Sid slides free but he stays asleep as Sid carefully tiptoes out onto the balcony after grabbing his phone.

He pulls one knee up to his chest in one of the chairs and calls Kris who picks up on the fifth ring.

“It’s so late,” Kris says, “this better be good.” Then, more seriously he says “are you okay? Did something happen? Do I need to come down there?”

“You were right,” Sid says as he looks out over the water. The lights of the city blur on the surface. “This was a mistake. I shouldn’t have come here.”

“Sid,” Kris says loudly. “What happened? Are you okay?”

Sid nods then shakes his head, not caring that Kris can’t see.

“Kris,” he says, “I think I love him.”


	10. Chapter 10

“Come home.”

“I can’t.”

“Sidney,” Kris says, “come home.”

“I need this money. I can’t just leave.”

“Fuck the money. I’ll give you the money. I booked that job so I’ll have a little extra and we can figure it out, just come home.”

“It’s one more day. Going home now won’t solve anything.”

“It’ll put distance between you and him. That’s the first step.”

“It won’t matter.”

“Sid,” Kris says with a sigh. “What happened?”

“I don’t know,” Sid says. “How does it ever happen? It just does.”

“Maybe you don’t. Maybe it’s just you in this new place finally getting to relax for the first time in forever. You’re in love with this place and the idea of it. It’s got nothing to do with him. You’ll come home and you won’t see him anymore and you’ll get over this. You don’t love him.”

“Yeah,” Sid says as he tips his head back and lets it hang over the back of the chair. “I do.”

 

Geno’s still asleep when Sid collects himself enough to go back into the room.

He’s on his side facing the empty space that Sid left behind and Sid carefully lays down as far from him as he can so they’re not touching.

It works until Geno reaches out for him and pulls him close with an arm around Sid’s waist and presses his forehead to Sid’s shoulder.

“Where you go,” Geno sleepily mumbles and Sid adjusts himself so his arm is around Geno’s shoulders.

“I just needed some air,” he says as Geno burrows in closer and sighs happily before his breathing evens out and he falls back to sleep.

Sid stares blankly up at the ceiling and softly runs his fingers through the short hair on the back of Geno’s neck until the sun starts to creep in from underneath the curtains and Geno’s alarm is about to go off.

He slips out from beneath Geno’s weight and heads into the bathroom to start the shower.

He turns on the water as hot as it’ll go but immediately regrets it when he steps in and it pounds against his sunburned back. He swears as he turns it down to lukewarm and cautiously steps back under the spray. He washes his hair three time just to delay the inevitable of having to get out and face the rest of the day and when he finally turns off the water he can hear Geno in the other room, up and talking on the phone.

Sid roughly dries his hair with the towel then wraps it around his waist. He digs through the basket on the counter for a bottle of lotion but strikes gold when he finds a small bottle of aloe tucked away at the bottom.

He twists and turns but he finds it impossible to reach the middle of his back, right where he needs it the most. He sighs in frustration as he tries to bend just a bit more and he’s just about to give up when he looks up at the mirror and finds Geno standing behind him, watching.

Geno’s still completely undressed and he has his phone pressed to his ear, nodding along to whatever whoever on the other end is saying. There’s no fog in the mirror to hide the warmth in his eyes when he looks at Sid so Sid looks away. He can’t handle any of this right now.

Geno holds the phone between his ear and his shoulder as he takes the bottle from Sid and squeezes what’s left into his hands. He spreads the aloe carefully over Sid’s tender skin. Sid braces his hands on the counter as Geno gets the tops of his shoulders and the back of his neck. Geno uses every last drop that he can get in the bottle then tosses it in the garbage bin beneath the sink.

“Have to get more,” he whispers then pulls the phone away from his ear and drops it to his side. Geno cups Sid’s chin with his free hand and pulls him in for a kiss.

It’s morning breath and chapped lips and probably a bit too much tongue but Sid’s own hands still betray him as they reach out and clutch at Geno’s hips.

Geno hums and then says “good morning,” against Sid’s mouth, lips curving into a smile.

Sid can hear the person on the other end of the line ask _‘hello’_ over and over again and he pulls away.

“The phone,” Sid says and Geno’s eyes go wide as he lifts it back to his ear.

“Yes, hello, still here. Bad reception in hotel room.” He rolls his eyes at the lie and spreads his fingers along Sid’s waist, dipping beneath the towel at his hip.

“I’m gonna….” Sid trails off and tips his head toward the bedroom and Geno nods and lets him go.

Sid picks up their clothing from the night before as Geno continues his conversation on the phone. He’s talking about dinner, making reservations under his name as Sid drops the dirty clothing into a pile and starts to pick out something clean to wear.

“Who was that,” he asks when Geno hangs up.

“Assistant,” Geno says as he tosses his phone on the bed and then follows after it, spreading out on the disheveled sheets. “She says that investor I played golf with earlier in the week, he wants to close bigger deal. Going to go to dinner to celebrate so I make reservations at new restaurant for us tonight. Think you’ll like it.”

Sid hums then drops the shirt he’s holding when it sinks in. “Think I’ll like it? You think I’m going?”

“Of course,” Geno says, “going to celebrate. Not going to leave you here alone.”

“I can’t go with you to a business meeting, Geno.”

“Not business meeting. It’s dinner. Don’t see what the big deal is. His wife is going to be there, too.”

“So you thought it would be fine to bring your prostitute?”

The word hangs heavy between them.

“Sid. Not how I think of you.”

“Do they even know you fuck guys,” Sid asks hotly. “What are they going to think of me?” He can hear Geno climb off the bed behind him but he still flinches when Geno touches his arm.

“I think when I walk in next to you they’ll look at you and think, _Evgeni Malkin really has it all. What did he do to get so lucky?_ ”

Pay for it, Sid thinks as Geno kisses his forehead.

“Don’t have to go if you don’t want,” Geno says, “won’t make you. But I’d like you to come. Everything's better when you’re there.”

Geno’s always made it very clear that Sid could always say no but looking at him now, Sid doesn’t have it in him.

“Okay,” he says and Geno visibly brightens. “I’ll go. The food better be good.”

“Best reviews,” Geno says, “and if it’s bad then we just go somewhere else.” He squeezes Sid’s arms and smiles. “Going to be fun.”

 

After Geno heads into work for the day Sid wanders aimlessly around the hotel, not feeling like doing much of anything except avoiding Kris’s phone calls and texts.

He knows what Kris is going to say. He wants him to come home and really, there isn’t anything more to say after that.

It’s too early to drink but Sid finds himself in the hotel bar anyways, tracing patterns in the ring of condensation that his glass leaves on the marble bar top.

He does his best to think about nothing even as his mind races and it only gets worse when he looks up and sees Stephanie settle in at the other end of the bar.

Sid’s only had a few sips of his drink but it’s enough liquid courage for him to hop off his bar stool and make his way over to her.

She rolls her eyes when she sees him and refuses to look in his direction even as he stands right beside her.

“I don’t mean to bother you,” he says and she taps her fingers against the bar.

“Then don’t.”

“I just have a few questions,” Sid says. “Please. It won’t take long.”

She sighs and finally looks at him. Her eyes are bright green behind thick lashes.

“Are you going to finish that,” she asks as she gestures to the drink in Sid’s hand. He shakes his head and hands it to her and she downs it in one go. “Come on,” she says as she slides off the stool. Even in her heels she barely comes up to Sid’s shoulder. “If we’re going to have this conversation I’m going to need a smoke.”

Sid follows her around the outside of the hotel to the loading docks where she leans against the building and pulls a pack of cigarettes and a lighter from her bag.

“Do you want one,” she asks as she shakes one out into her palm.

 _Yes,_ Sid thinks but he shakes his head _no._

“Right,” Stephanie says as she bends her head to light the cigarette she’s holding between her lips. “Stand upwind of me then, I forgot Geno hates the smell.”

Sid tenses at the mention of his name and she laughs.

“That’s what you want to talk to me about, right? It’s not like we have a lot else in common.”

She tips her head back and blows smoke into the wind.

“I just want to know,” Sid says as he jams his hands into his pockets. “What happened between you two? Why aren’t you two….a thing anymore?”

She looks at Sid like he’s stupid, like the answer is obvious. “Because he found you,” she says.

“No, between that. Something must have happened if he liked you and then-.”

“He didn’t like me,” Stephanie says, waving her cigarette around. “He liked to fuck me. There’s a difference. They don’t ever like you.”

“No, that’s not true, Geno likes me.”

She stares at him, like she’s trying to piece things together and then she heaves a sigh and shakes her head. “Oh god, kid, you didn’t?”

“Didn’t what?”

She shakes her head again and takes a long drag. “See, this is why every young hooker needs to be assigned a mentor or something, to tell you baby idiots that the number one rule is to never, ever fall for your clients. Kid, listen, and I want you to listen good and know that I’m not saying this to be mean or to be a bitch, okay? He doesn’t love you. He doesn’t even like you. You’re nothing but a dick and an ass to him.” She gives him a quick once over. “A nice ass, but just an ass.”

“That’s not true. That’s not how he treats me.”

“He’s paying you, isn’t he? For sex?”

“You don’t see the way he looks at me,” Sid says and he knows it’s pathetic but his mouth isn’t listening to his brain.

“I’m sure it’s the same way he looked at me and the same way he looked at the person before me. Listen, sweetheart, you have a finite time to be doing this, okay? You need to look out for you. Men who pay for sex only want two things, they want someone young and they want someone pretty. You might always look this good but there will always be someone younger than you. You can’t stop time. You need to get your money now and do your job and you can’t do that if you’re hung up on someone else. Get over this. Get the money from him then cut yourself off. Don’t see him, don’t think about him, don’t get in contact with him. It’s the only way.” She stubs her cigarette out against the building and drops it to the ground then she presses her hand to his cheek. “You look like a sweet kid but you’re already fucked with all this. Don’t make it any worse for yourself. Trust me." She taps his face then clears her throat. “I gotta go, I’m going to be late for a manicure. Good luck, kid.”

She leaves him there standing over her still smoking cigarette, alone and heartsick.

 

Geno’s already in the room when Sid decides to head back.

The suit he bought for Sid is laid out on the bed and Geno is fiddling with his tie, still barefoot, hair damp from the shower.

“Hey,” Geno says warmly. “Getting worried. Try to call you but no answer.”

“My phone must have died,” Sid lies. He shut it off after Kris’s twentieth voicemail. “Am I late?”

Geno shakes his head. “No. Still have time for quick shower and to get dressed. Hope suit fits okay.” He leans in and kisses Sid’s temple. “Maybe when we get back we try out the tub,” he says with a wiggle of his eyebrows and Sid gives him a weak smile before ducking into the bathroom.

The suit fits like a dream and Geno stands behind him running his hands over his shoulders, smoothing out the fabric before he reaches around to straighten Sid’s tie.

“Look amazing, Sid,” Geno says and Sid feels himself start to sweat.

“This is the most expensive thing I’ve ever worn,” he says. “What if I spill something on it?”

Geno shrugs, unconcerned as he sticks his hand into the front pocket of his jeans and pulls out a box. “Then I buy you another. Bought you something now,” he says as he shakes the box then pops it open. There’s a pair of cufflinks, silver with a bright green stone inset. “Peridot,” he says as he pulls out one of the links and reaches for Sid’s wrist. “August birthstone. You like?” Geno secures the link through the hole on Sid’s shirt cuff.

Sid bends his arm to look at it as Geno does the same with the other side.

“They’re beautiful,” Sid says. “You didn’t have to do this.”

“Wanted to,” Geno says as he squeezes Sid’s hand. “Want you to have nice things. You deserve.”

Sid knows he shouldn’t but he raises up on his toes and kisses him.

 

It’s a short drive to the restaurant. Barely enough time for Sid’s nerves to take over and when they get out of the car Geno reaches for his hand.

The hostess brings them to a quiet table in front of a large, bay window with a view of the water. There are already two people seated, a man and a woman, and they both stand when Sid and Geno get closer.

The woman looks to be in her forties, with brown hair that’s twisted into an elegant bun on the top of her head. She’s in a deep blue dress and she smiles and holds her hand out to both of them.

“Evgeni,” the man says, he’s older and handsome. A full head of silver hair and bright, blue eyes. He’s familiar but Sid can’t quite put his finger on why. “This is my wife, Sarah.”

“It’s nice to meet you,” Sarah says and Geno smiles back to her.

“Nice to meet you,” Geno says then puts his hand on Sid’s back. “This is Sid. Sid, Sarah and Brett Keane. Big investor,” Geno says, “very important.”

Brett laughs and reaches for Sid’s outstretched hand and Sid suddenly understands.

Three years ago in a hotel room in Tribeca. A wedding ring on the nightstand and a hand in the middle of Sid’s naked back. Blue eyes staring back at him when Sid looked over his shoulder and hair, still salt and pepper but rapidly slipping into silver.

He said his name was Sean but Sid was sure that was a lie. He didn’t care. He never did.

Sid stops shaking Brett’s hand but Brett doesn’t let his hand go. He just meets his eye line and smiles and Sid knows that he remembers too.


	11. Chapter 11

“So,” Sarah says after they’ve settled into their seats and ordered their drinks. Or after Geno ordered their drinks. Something expensive for the table because they’re supposed to be celebrating and Sid just went along with because who was he to object.

Sarah draws the word out and looks between him and Geno and even though Sid’s never actually done this, never been in this position before, he knows exactly what’s going to come out of her mouth next.

“How long have you two been together,” she asks and that confirms it. She has no idea who or _what_ Sid is. She doesn’t know that he’s getting paid to be here and Sid would guess she has no clue about her husband’s affairs. She’s sitting too close to him. She looks too happy. People stay married for a lot of reasons but they can’t fake the look in their eyes. She still loves him, no question.

“Is still new,” Geno says as he reaches for Sid’s hand where it had been clawed against his own thigh, and brings them both up to rest of the table. “But good,” he says as he glances at Sid. His eyes are bright and he’s biting nervously at his bottom lip. “Is really good.”

“Aww,” Sarah says as she pokes at Brett’s shoulder. “Do you remember being that young and in love?”

Sid’s throat closes up and Geno laughs.

“Don’t feel so young,” Geno says. He nods toward Brett. “Was sore after round of golf.”

“That’s just because you’re not used to it,” Brett says. He finally slides his eyes off Sid and over to the waiter who arrives with the bucket of champagne. “A little more practice and you’ll get used to it.”

“Do you play, Sid,” Sarah says as she accepts the first glass of champagne from the waiter and Sid shakes his head.

“No,” he says then stops to clear his throat. “I never have. Probably wouldn't be good at it if I tried.”

Geno rolls his eyes. “Sid’s good at everything. Would be great.”

“Geno thinks too highly of me,” Sid says and Geno smiles at him indulgently before handing him a glass of champagne. It bubbles and sparkles in the crystal just like the lights off the water in the bay.

“Don’t be so hard on yourself,” Brett says as he locks eyes with Sid. “I’m sure Geno knows you well enough by now to know exactly what you’re good at.”

There’s a painful twisting in the pit of Sid’s stomach as they raise their glasses in the middle of the table.

“To relationships,” Brett toasts as their glasses clink together. “New and old, business,” he says then looks at Sid and adds, “or pleasure.”

Sid’s stomach rolls and he sets his glass down without taking a sip.

The conversation lags as they look over the menu.

The words meld together in front of Sid as he looks over the entres. He’s grounded only by Geno’s hand resting on his thigh beneath the table.

Sid orders something with chicken. It’s the cheapest thing on the menu and Geno wrinkles his nose and cocks his head to the side when Sid tells the waiter.

“Have lobster here,” he says as Sarah and Brett give their order. “Reviews day is best thing on menu.”

“It’s fine,” Sid tells him, “I’m actually not feeling really well.”

“You okay,” Geno asks seriously and Sid nods as he pushes his chair back. “Want to go?”

_God that would make things easier._

“I’m okay,” Sid assures him. “I’m just gonna go get some air, I think. I’ll be back.”

“Want me to come?”

“No. Stay. Celebrate. I’ll be right back, I promise.”

Geno frowns but nods anyways as Sid hears Sarah tell them about some bug that’s been going around her office as he winds his way through the tables toward the restrooms.

The men’s room is thankfully empty and he runs his hands under the cold water and tries to sort this whole thing out.

What can Brett do?

Geno knows he’s a prostitute. He can’t expose him to Geno and he can’t blackmail Geno without exposing himself.

Maybe it’s only going to be awkward if Sid makes it awkward. Maybe he can put his head down and get through dinner and then they’ll never have to see each other again. It’s possible Brett’s as freaked out as he is right now. He certainly has more to lose.

Sid takes a deep breath as he shuts off the water and grabs a handful of towels out of the bin on the counter. He dries his hands and peridot in the cufflink catches the light from above the mirror. He twists his wrist to look at them.

They’re beautiful and expensive and special. All the things Geno makes him feel about himself.

Behind him the bathroom door opens and when Sid looks in the mirror Brett is stand there.

“Sid,” Brett says when the door swings shut behind him and Sid turns around. “You look good. What were you, twenty one, twenty two when I saw you last?”

Sid nods. “About that,” he says carefully.

Brett smiles. “So you do remember me? I take that as a complement with all the men you’ve been with. I must be special.”

“I have to get back to the table,” Sid says quickly as he tosses the towels into the garbage can. “Geno’s going to be worried about me.”

He tries to step around Brett but Brett slides right in front of him.

“How much is he paying you,” Brett asks and Sid freezes.

“What?”

“I’ll pay double. I don’t care how much. I know I’m not making top thirty five lists in Forbes anymore but I’ve still got it. Name your price.”

“I’m not interested,” Sid says as he tries to brush by Brett again but Brett blocks him.

“I think you misunderstood. You know this deal between my company and Malkin’s isn’t finalized yet. We’re just celebrating the idea of it but nothings been signed yet. It’s not official. It could all go away or.” He pauses and reaches out to squeeze Sid’s shoulder. “It could go off without a hitch. It’s up to you. Think about how disappointed Malkin would be if he found you’re the reason this deal fell through when all you had to do was take one more job.”

“How do you think your wife will feel when I tell her what you’re trying to do?”

Brett stares at him then smiles and runs his hands up to the side of Sid’s neck. “I don’t think you’re that cruel. There’s no reason to drag her into this. Think of the needless pain that would cause her. Could you break her heart like that?”

Sid’s speechless at the casual manipulation and opens and shuts his mouth several times, trying to come up with something to say.

“You act like I’m the only married man you’ve ever slept with,” Brett says as he moves his body closer. Sid’s trapped against the sink but he squares his shoulders. “You knew I was married when we were together. You saw the ring. You were fine with it. You’re complicit in this. You don’t get to suddenly care about the poor wives left behind at home when it becomes convenient to you.” He strokes Sid’s skin with his thumb, like he’s trying to calm him down, and all Sid does is tense up even further. “You know you were the first man I had ever been with.”

Sid sets his jaw as Brett’s breath, sweet from the champagne, fans across his face. It’s nauseating.

“It took me decades to figure out what I really wanted. I think you set the bar too high. You ruined all other men for me.”

Sid squeezes his eyes shut as Brett’s lips brush against his jaw and he’s just about to push him away when they’re interrupted.

“What is this?”

Brett pulls away and Sid opens his eyes at the heavily accented voice.

Geno’s standing there, one foot in and one foot out the door, eyes scanning over the both of them trying to figure out exactly what he’s seeing.

“Geno, it’s not what it looks like,” Sid says, cliched but true and Geno locks eyes with him, searching. “I wasn’t...I wouldn’t.”

“You don’t have to act so territorial with your toys, Malkin,” Brett says blandly and Geno’s gaze slides over to him as he holds his hand out to Sid.

Sid takes it immediately Geno pulls him out between the sink and Brett’s body.

“You tell me,” Geno says to Brett. “What is this.”

“Sid and I were just catching up,” Brett says and Geno’s eyebrows pull together. “It’s been a few years since we’ve seen each other.”

“You know…” Geno trails off and looks down at Sid. “You know him?” He asks, putting the pieces together and Sid nods.

“Just once,” Sid tells him. His hand is still tucked into Geno’s and he gives it a squeeze. “Years ago….I didn’t know-.”

Geno squeezes his hand back and it’s like a lifeline.

“We were discussing an arrangement,” Brett says and Geno shakes his head and takes a step toward him.

“Didn’t look like he was discussing.” His looks back at Sid. “Look like you were pushing. He tell you no and you still push?” His voice is low and dangerous and Brett pulls himself up to his full height as Geno gets closer. Sid stays where he is, heels figuratively digging into the tile as he tries to pull Geno back.

“What makes you think he said no,” Brett asks.

“Because I know him. Know what it looks like when he says yes. That not it.”

“You know how business deals can be sometimes, Malkin. You can always take no for an answer at first.”

Geno snaps and surges forward out of Sid’s grasp. He grabs Brett by the lapels is his jacket and shoves him back against the sink with enough force that Brett’s feet leave the ground.

“You never talk to him again,” Geno growls, “you never look at him again. You even think about it I tell everyone. I tell your wife, I tell the media. I will destroy you.”

“You can’t implicate me without implicating yourself,” Brett points out. “And I don’t believe you’d ever tell Sarah.” He looks over at Sid briefly then looks back at Geno. “That’s not what Sid wants, is it? He’s not cruel.”

“I’m not nice like Sid. Is business, yes, sometimes you have to be mean.”

“Honestly, I don’t understand why you’re getting so worked up over some whore-.”

Geno gets a better grip on Brett’s jacket and shakes him, Brett’s head snapping back with the force of it.

“Our deal is off. You keep your money. It’s not good with me.”

“You’re making a big mistake,” Brett warns and Geno drops him.

“Not as big as you,” Geno says as he turns away and wraps his arm around Sid’s shoulder. “Let’s go,” he says as he pushes open the door and leads him through the restaurant.

“I’m sorry,” Sid says as they wait for the car out on the sidewalk. “I wasn’t going to do anything with him, I swear. ”

“Don’t blame you,” Geno says as he furiously taps at his phone screen. He stops and gives Sid a long look. “I see how he acts with you. I see your face. I know.”

“He said he was going to fuck up the business deal if I didn’t.”

“Happened anyways,” Geno says as the car rolls up to the curb. Geno opens the door for Sid and Sid climbs in. “You okay,” he asks as he climbs in after Sid and the car pulls away. “He didn’t hurt you?”

“I’m fine,” Sid says. His phone starts to ring in his pocket and he ignores it. “You shouldn’t call off the deal. It can still work out.”

“Already done,” Geno says as he puts his phone down. “Just tell lawyer to shred contract. It’s over.”

“Maybe you can write up a new one. It’s not worth it, Geno, come on.” His phone stops ringing then immediately starts again and he pulls it out and puts it on silent. It vibrates against his hand.

“You think I want to be associated with him after the way he treated you? The things he said? How are you acting like it’s not a big deal?”

“Are you mad about what he said or are you mad because what he said is true?”

The glow of street lights cut across Geno’s face as he turns to face him. Sid’s phone is still buzzing in his hand.

“What does that mean?”

“This whole trip everyone has been pretending that I’m not what I am. The flight attendants, everyone at the hotel, the drivers,” Sid says as he nods toward the front of the car. “Brett was the only one that actually said it and I think that’s bothering you more than anything.”

“Don’t know what you’re talking about. I know what you do.”

“But you’ve never had to actually see it. You can’t ignore it or pretend it’s not true.”

“I don’t do that,” Geno says sharply and he rolls his eyes at the buzzing phone in Sid’s. “Who is calling you?”

Sid glances at the screen. _Cal._ “It’s a client,” Sid says as he presses the decline button. The car is silent for a moment before it starts to vibrate again.

“Just answer it,” Geno says as he sits back in the seat and rubs his hand over his eyes. “Too stupid to understand that you busy now.”

“He’s not stupid,” Sid quickly defends. Calvin is sweet and shy and the first time Calvin hired him it took him an hour to get out what he wanted Sid to do and another forty minutes before he decided it was okay for Sid to touch him. It’s gotten better since then but Calvin’s still a little needy. He answers the phone and brings it up to his ear as Geno huffs a breath in the seat beside him. “Hey,” Sid says, trying to put as much warmth into his voice as he can. Calvin’s so sensitive, Sid doesn’t want him to think that any of the anger he’s holding onto is directed at him.

“Hey,” Calvin says back and Sid can tell that he’s nervous. “Are you busy? I couldn’t reach you and I can always reach you and I guess I was worried something happened-.”

“I’m fine,” Sid says. “I’ve been out of town but I’ll be back soon if you want to set something up.”

Geno’s jaw sets and Sid can almost hear his teeth grinding.

“Oh, okay, hope you’re having fun wherever you are,” Calvin says and Sid shakes his head. Too sweet by half. “Maybe the week after next? Work is really taking a lot out of me right now and I just think I need to relax a little bit.”

“How about that Friday? Would it be better at the end of the week or more toward the middle?”

“Friday is great, that’s perfect,” Calvin says but Sid thinks he’s probably just being agreeable. “I’ll see you then. Normal time, same hotel?”

“Of course,” Sid says, “see you then.” He glances over at Geno who has his arms folded over his chest. “I can’t wait,” Sid adds, just to watch the way Geno’s eyes slide shut.

Sid hangs up after Calvin says goodbye and the backseat is plunged into silence.

“This is my job,” Sid says slowly. “I have to do this. It’s just how it is.”

“Can pay you more,” Geno says. “Pay you whatever you want.”

“That’s not how it works. I can’t be kept by you.”

“Not trying to keep you. Just trying to help you.”

“Until you need someone else that needs help.” Sid takes a deep breath and decides to go all in. “I know about Stephanie,” he says and Geno snaps his head around to look at him. “She told me how you dropped her when you found me and it’s only a matter of time before you find someone else.”

“How do you know about her,” Geno asks, clearly bewildered. “When you talk to her?”

“That’s what you’re focusing on? She’s staying at the hotel with an orthodontist or a plastic surgeon or something. I don’t know, I forget what any of them said. It doesn’t matter. What matters is that what she said is true. I can’t depend on this. I won’t.” “Sid,” Geno says and it sounds like a plea.

Sid shakes his head and pulls his hand back when Geno tries to cover it with his own. “I think I just need to go home. Forget this whole thing happened.”

“Sid,” Geno says again and Sid stares straight ahead. He can’t look at him right now. “Flight isn’t until the morning. Maybe you sleep on this. Think about it?”

“I don’t need the jet,” Sid says as he stares straight ahead. “Any seat on any flight. I’ll pay for it. I just need to get out of here.”

He takes a chance and looks at Geno out of the corner of his eye. Geno looks heartbroken and devastated and Sid almost gives in. He almost tells Geno to never mind, forget everything he said and they’ll go back to the hotel and spend the night together wrapped up in each other.

But that would be a mistake. This whole thing will end. It will come crashing down and Sid’s heart will find a way to break even further than it already has. He has to get out now.

“Okay,” Geno says quietly. “Get you on a flight as soon as I can if that’s what you really want. Won’t make you stay here.”

It’s not what he wants but it’s what has to be done.

“Thank you,” Sid says and they ride the rest of the way back to the hotel in silence.


	12. Chapter 12

There’s a forty five minute layover in Charlotte.

True to his word, Geno had got him the first flight out of Miami that he could find. Sid barely had time to throw what he came with into his bag before getting into a cab and leaving without looking back.

He didn’t even have time to change out of his suit and even though it fit like a dream when he first put it on, the fabric had become tight and cloying and pulls at his tie and unbuttons his collar trying to get more air.

He shifts in the uncomfortable airport terminal seat and kicks his legs out in front of him. There wasn’t a lot of room in economy and the crying baby seated behind him and the man reclining all the way back in front of him were a far cry from the private jet he flew in on.

He rolls his shoulders and cracks his back then pulls his feet back in as a group of travelers pass by.

To them, he must look like a businessman, on his way home from an important trip.

Maybe they think he has a family waiting for him. A spouse and a brownstone and a dog. The whole package. The only hint that he’s actually heading home to an empty shitty hotel room with loud neighbors and a paper thin mattress is the beat up duffel at his feet. He kicks it beneath his chair and then, still feeling stifled by the suit, takes off his jacket and moves to roll up his sleeves.

He stops at the cuff links and turns his wrists so he can look at them. Besides the suit and the handful of bills in his wallet for the cab ride back from the hotel they’re the only things he took from Geno. He quickly slides them off and sticks them in the front pocket of his bag. He’ll decide what to do with them later.

 

It’s bitterly cold when the flight lands in New York.

He pulls his jacket tighter around himself as he waits to hail a cab and when one finally stops he practically throws himself inside.

It’s nearly 4am when Sid gets back to the hotel. Traffic from the late night crowd going to and from hip clubs slowed them down.

Sid tips the driver well then steps out onto the familiar sidewalk, the air smelling crisp like snow.

He’s only been gone a week but it feels like forever as he opens the door to his room. The water spot on the ceiling seems to have doubled in size but the bed is made and the garbage cans are empty and Sid makes a mental note to leave housekeeping with an extraordinarily large tip when he finally leaves.

He sits down on the edge of the bed, the mattress dipping and sagging beneath his weight, and pulls out his phone.

As soon as it’s off airplane mode it lights up like a Christmas tree with missed calls and texts, mostly from eager clients that knew he’d be back at some point today.

He scans through them quickly, looking for anything that stands out. It’s mostly his regulars using numbers that have been saved to his phone but there are a few unknown numbers that start with _‘hey, I got your number from....’_ Sid skims through them, new business is good, he’s going to need it, and stops when he sees the text from Geno.

_Let me know when you land safe._

Simple and professional. Detached.

Sid stares down at the words for a long moment before he types out _I’m back_ and nothing else.

Then he texts _I’m back in the city, everything’s fine_ to Kris before he strips out of his suit, showers, and tries to get some sleep.

When Sid wakes up there’s a half a foot of snow on the ground and he takes a moment to look out his window and savor how fresh and clean it makes the city look. It’s fleeting. It won’t be long until it’s reduced to sludge but for now the city looks perfect.

When he checks his phone he finds six texts from Kris and three missed calls. The texts are barely readable with all the typos and his voice is slurred but gravely concerned as he yells at Sid over the noise in the background asking him if things are actually _fine._

Kris was clearly at a party last night and now he’s probably sleeping off a monster hangover.

There’s a single text from Geno.

_Can we talk? Have more things to say. Better to do it in person._

Sid’s fairly certain he doesn’t want to hear it. He needs a clean break.

He deletes the text and then blocks Geno’s number for good measure.

It’s as clean as it can be.

He fiddles with the knobs on the old, rusted out radiator and begs for more heat before he ultimately gives up, pulls on a thicker sweatshirt, and goes back to bed.

 

It’s after one in the afternoon when there’s a violent banging at his door.

He’s been up for a few hours now, calling back clients and working out his schedule for the next few weeks.

He has names, dates, and times scribbled out onto post it notes stuck to the surface of the table in the kitchenette and he’s going back and forth over who to put where.

He’s annoyed he has to get up and break his concentration but the knocks get louder and he hears _“Sid if you’re in there, open the fuck up,”_ and he hurries himself along.

Kris is on the other side when he opens the door, looking uncharacteristically disheveled in wrinkled clothing and dark, over sized women’s sunglasses. He’s holding the biggest cup of coffee Sid has ever seen and he’s rubbing his temple with his free hand.

“Fucker,” he says as he pushes past Sid and into the hotel room. “You never told me what room you were staying in and the lady at the front desk was super secretive with the information so I had to wander around and knock on every single door. All your neighbors hate me.” He takes a sip from the to-go cup and looks around. “This place is a dump, fuck, Sid.”

“Why didn’t you just call me and ask where I was?”

“I lost my phone somewhere between the third club I went to and the fourth. I can’t keep up with twenty one year olds anymore. I should stop that.”

“Did you at least have fun?”

“I don’t remember,” Kris says with a shake of his head as he looks down at the post-it notes. “What is all this?”

“It’s my schedule. It’s easier to visualize this way.”

“That’s….that’s a lot of sex. Is that even possible? I mean, look at here, you have four guys that day. Can your body handle that? And don’t say you’ll eat a protein bar and drink some Gatorade because I think that’s bullshit.”

“I’ve worked it out. I’ve strategized. Everyday there’s at least one guy that either can’t last long enough to make me come or they don’t care if I come at all so really, I’m only technically have sex once a day.” He taps his forehead with his index finger. “Strategy.”

“That’s.” Kris stops to take a deep breath. He exhales loudly and shakes his head. “That’s a lot of information that I didn’t need to know. Also, you attract some really awful guys. Jesus, Sid. You should at least be getting something out of this.”

“I get paid,” Sid tells him. “That’s what I get out of it. I don’t care if they’re bad in bed or selfish or whatever. It’s not my job to teach them how to be good at sex. It’s my job to be there while they’re having it.”

“Speaking of getting paid….Malkin paid you, didn’t he?”

Sid nods. “The entire amount. I didn’t check my bank account until I got back but it went in there the day we left from Miami. He paid me up front. Who pays that amount up front?”

“That’s a drop on the bucket to him,” Kris points out. “He won’t even miss it. Has he tried to talk to you?” “He text me asking me to let him know when I landed and I did. Then he asked if we could talk face to face. I deleted that and blocked his number.”

Kris nods. “Probably for the best. So when are you getting out of here? You’ve got some money in the bank now.”

“I need a job first. A real, legit job and then I’ll start looking for apartments.”

“You’re going to have time to look for a job and go to an interview in the middle of all this crappy sex?”

“I’ll make time. I can fit it in. I’m good at planning,” he says as he points down at the post-its. “I can make it work.”

Kris hums around the lid of the coffee cup and Sid rolls his eyes.

“If you have something to say you should just say it.”

“I’m just worried about you,” Kris says and Sid shrugs.

“What else is new?” “What’s new is that you just came back from this trip from this guy that you told me you were in love with and you’re getting ready to plow your way through all these guys...how does that work, you know, emotionally?”

“It’s not like I have a choice. I can’t just sit around and mope and until I can get a job that takes up some of my free time this is the best way to spend it. This won’t be forever.”

“If you say so,” Kris says lightly, like he doesn’t fully believe it.

That’s okay, because there’s a part of Sid that doesn’t believe it either.


	13. Chapter 13

“Fuck, baby, come on, just like that, come on.”

Sid’s on his hands and knees, skin rubbing against over starched hotel sheets.

“Right there, right there,” he says blandly and rolls his eyes as Peter groans in his ear.

Peter likes run of the mill dirty talk. Nothing fancy. Nothing graphic. Just simple, softcore, dirty talk.

He doesn’t seem to care if it’s genuine either which is good because there’s no way Sid’s going to be getting off to this. But Sid can fake it. He’s good at that.

Sid fakes a moan as Peter’s thrusts grow erratic and Sid can almost countdown to the exact second Peter digs his nails into Sid’s hips, sloppily kisses the back of Sid’s neck, and comes with his teeth set against Sid’s skin.

Peter takes a long moment to recover and Sid takes his weight, patiently waiting until Peter finally pulls out and rolls to the side.

“You good,” Peter asks, breathless and sweaty as he ties off the condom and Sid eases himself off the bed and onto his feet.

“I’m good,” Sid says as he turns away and reaches for his jeans on the floor.

Peter is an okay guy. Over confident in a way he has no business being. He’s not particularly attractive or smart or funny but he acts like he’s god’s gift. He’s straight, officially, but he fucks guys sometimes, and the first time he hired Sid he winked and said _“I guess you’re one of the lucky ones.”_

It was all downhill from there. But, he never asks for more than Sid is willing to give and he tips well so Sid keeps him on the regular rotation.

“You always get dressed so quickly,” Peter says as Sid pulls his jeans over his ass and zips them up. “Fucking shame.”

“I have to get going,” Sid says as he yanks his shirt over his head. “Sorry I can’t hang out.”

“Where are you running off to?”

“I have a job interview,” Sid explains. His next client isn’t until nine o’clock tonight. Jason, who likes to get fucked in front of the full length mirror that hangs off the back of the closet door. Sid likes Jason just fine but that doesn’t mean he’s looking forward to it. Sex just hasn’t been the same since-.

“Sid. Hey.”

Sid snaps his head up and finds Peter sitting on the edge of the bed, snapping his fingers in Sid’s face.

“Where did you just go? I asked you how your vacation was.”

That was his cover. That he was gone on a vacation.

“It was fine,” he says as he stuff the money Peter paid him into his wallet. He doesn’t bother to count it. He knows it’s all there.

“Where’d you go again?”

“Miami.”

Peter hums. “That’s why you’re so tan. It looks good on you. You should get away more often.”

“I would love to,” Sid says under his breath as he throws on his coat. “I really gotta go, I’m gonna be late.”

Peter waves him off. “Go on, good luck. Same time next week?”

Sid bites back a sigh and slaps on a smile. “Yeah, of course.”

 

He bombs the interview and his foul mood follows him to the late lunch he has planned with Kris.

He pokes at his food while Kris happily goes on and on about the photo shoot he just came from.

“They put us in this pool and it’s not heated and I swear it’s like, below freezing in the water but….hey, are you even listening to me?”

“Sorry,” Sid says as he sets down his fork and scrubs his hand over his face. “I’m just thinking about the interview. How do you fuck up an interview for a bartending job?”

“Maybe you didn’t do as badly as you think you did…” He pauses and looks Sid over. “But you look like shit probably didn’t help. Have you slept at all?”

“I’m fine. Tell me more about your job. I want to hear about it.”

“Well. You know I’ve been booking more jobs lately so the money is starting to roll in. I was thinking maybe it’s time to get out of that apartment. Living with three other models is starting to get to me. I need my own space.”

“You love that apartment. You said it feels like Zoolander.”

“I have to move on eventually,” Kris says. “And I was thinking, maybe three roommates is too much but one might be okay.”

They stare at each other for a moment before Kris huffs. “I’m asking you to move in with me.”

“Oh,” Sid says. “Why?”

“Because some help with the rent would be nice and you’re basically my best friend and to be completely honest, I think you need someone to look after you.”

“I don’t.”

“You’re running yourself ragged, Sid. You can’t keep this pace up and you can’t keep living in that hotel. You’re going to catch something. Bedbugs or some shit.”

“I won’t live there forever. I told you, I just need to find a job.”

“Sid, it’s been a week.”

“You say that like a week is a long time.”

“I’m saying it only took a week for to look like this,” Kris says as he waves his hand at Sid.

“Stop saying I look like shit.”

“Well you do. You look awful and I know you have to feel awful.”

Sid can’t really defend himself against that. His body is sore and he’s tired and he has a headache that won’t seem to go away.

“I appreciate the offer,” Sid says as Kris rolls his eyes, “but I’m really fine. I’m pretty sure I’d be a terrible roommate anyways.”

Sid’s pretty sure that’s what his college roommate had thought before he started paying Sid for sex.

“The offer stands,” Kris says. “If you need help I’m here.”

“Thanks. I’m glad you’re getting more jobs. Things are really looking up for you?”

Kris smiles. “I guess so. Finally.” His smile abruptly fades. “I hate that I probably have you-know-who to thank. I think that photo shoot he set me up with was the tipping point.”

“You can say his name,” Sid says as the waitress comes over to drop the check. Kris snags it before Sid can even look at it. “I don’t care.”

“Okay then,” Kris says as he pulls out his wallet, “speaking of Malkin-.”

“I didn’t know we were really speaking of him.” Sid shoots back. He didn’t intend for this to be a thing.

“He called me.”

Sid blinks at him. “What?”

“He called me. You have him blocked and he was worried. He must have gotten my contact information off the He wanted to make sure you were okay.”

“Why would he do that?”

“Ummm, because when someone like you who does what you do for a living suddenly becomes unreachable it’s cause for concern. He wanted to make sure you were still alive.”

“What did you tell him?”

“That you were still breathing and to leave the both of us alone.”

Sid nods. “Good. That’s good.”

“He sounded awful. All panicky and everything.”

Sid hums and nods. He doesn’t really need to know.

“I know what I said about this not being a movie and how he won’t fall in love with you and fix all your problems but, Sid, you didn’t hear his voice on the phone. You don’t think there’s any possible way that he maybe loves you back?”

“No,” Sid says, quick and definite. He’s not leaving room for any argument but Kris doesn’t seem to understand that.

“How can you be sure?” “Because I’m sure. He didn’t even deny it when I told him that he’d find someone else eventually, that he’d get tired of me.”

“Would you have believed him if he did?”

“I....I don’t...it doesn’t matter,” Sid says with a shake of his head. “I can’t be with him. I can’t be with anyone. Who is ever going to want me?”

Kris’s eyes go soft with pity. “Sidney.”

“I already tried the relationship thing, remember? It blew up in my face.”

“It’s different now. He already knows everything about you. There’d be no secret to keep. Nothing to blow up.”

“Doesn’t matter.”

“You cannot be this gun shy for the rest of your life. I don’t even like the guy but listening to him on the phone, it made me feel sorry for him. He clearly cares about you.”

“Maybe. For now.”

“Or forever. You don’t know.”

“I know,” Sid says testily as he takes the napkin off his lap, balls it up, and tosses it on the table. “I know because I think I know him better than you know him and I think I understand how these kinds of relationships work or how they don’t work. And I know because this is my life and my business and I know I’m done talking about it.” He pushes his chair back and stands up, grabbing his coat and pulling it on. “I gotta go, I have an appointment in a few hours.”

“You can’t run away from this forever,” Kris calls after him as Sid makes his way toward the exit. People are looking and his cheeks are burning. “I know where you live,” Kris yells. “Unfortunately.”

Sid ignores him and pushes open the door, the cold wind biting at his flushed face as he starts down the sidewalk.


	14. Chapter 14

There’s Jason and Colin and Steve and David.

Sid sees them, and a handful of others, while ignoring Kris’s calls and trying not to think about Geno and how miserable Kris said he sounded.

After a few days Kris stops calling and Sid stops expecting to wake up to Kris pounding on his hotel room door demanding that they get over whatever this is.

Kris is- _was-_ his best friend and while it hurts to drop out of his life so easily Sid is no stranger to the ache of it. He just carefully packs it away on top of everything else that’s gone wrong in his life and moves on into the arms of a man who pays him with wrinkled twenty dollar bills.

The sex is a distraction from his crumbling personal relationships and the dreadful feeling in the pit of his stomach that he’s never going to find a job.

He’s overwhelmed with the direction of his life and even though he’s exhausted at the end of the day sleep never seems to find him. It doesn’t matter if he’s in his hotel room in Chinatown or left alone in a rented out room in midtown all he does is stare up at the ceiling and worry.

It’s impossible to not think about Geno in moments like that, between tossing and turning and listening to neighbors argue. Where in the world he is at that exact moment and if he’s alone or not.

Sid’s not sure which option makes him feel better.

The thought of Geno out there all alone and lonely makes Sid’s heart ache but the idea that he’s with someone else, touching them and kissing them and making them feel important, makes something dark and sick twist in his gut.

He’s never been a jealous person. People have always had more than him and there’s no point in despairing over it. But love changes people, and not always in the best way.

Down on the street a car horn blares and tires squeal on the pavement. Tucked into bed, Sid grabs his pillow and wraps his arms around it, clutching it to his chest. It’s a pale imitation for what he really wants; a warm body that wants him for more than just his body.

 

By the time he meets up with Calvin in the same chic hotel in Chelsea that they always meet at, he’s completely drained.

“Was that okay,” Calvin asks as he steps into his pants. He gets dressed almost immediately afterwards. He says he’s never been comfortable enough with his own body to hang around naked, even when he’s alone at home. Sid’s honestly surprised he gets all the way undressed for sex.

He doesn’t seem to care one way or the other about Sid’s own nudity and Sid takes advantage of that as he lies across the bed, deep in his own thoughts.

“Sid,” Calvin asks as he gently touches Sid’s ankle, stirring him from his thoughts. “Was that okay? You seemed a little...uninterested.”

Calvin sounds devastated and Sid’s quick to sit up and grab a gentle hold of him around his waist.

“I’m sorry,” Sid says, “it wasn’t you. I promise. You were great. That was great.”

Calvin smiles, a small, unsure thing and Sid relaxes. The last thing in the world he wants to do is hurt the one person in his life that still genuinely likes him. “I’ve been a little out of it lately,” Sid admits. “Some personal things have been bothering me.”

“Do you want to talk about it,” Calvin asks slowly but then quickly tacks on “but you don’t have to if you don’t want to, I understand, but you always listen when I talk so I thought maybe…”

“You want to listen to me complain?”

Calvin shrugs and steps out of Sid’s hold to sit on the bed beside him. “It’s not like I have anything else to do. Does it have anything to do with the guy you went to Miami with?”

“How do you know there was a guy?”

“Isn’t there always a guy,” Calvin jokes and then seriously adds “you don’t seem like the type of guy to just take off on a vacation unless you were getting paid. I just assumed.”

“There is a guy,” Sid says and Calvin’s eyebrows raise in interest. “But it’s not about him. Or it’s not only about him. It’s a lot of things.”

Calvin nods and waits patiently for Sid to continue. Sid heaves a sigh and falls back against the bed.

“I’m fighting with my best friend and I don’t even know why. It’s not like he did anything wrong, he was just trying to look out for me, but I lost it and stormed out and now I don’t even know if he is my friend. I can’t find a real job to save my life. I haven’t slept through the night in two weeks. I’m living in the world’s worst hotel and the thought of even going back there tonight makes my skin crawl and I have absolutely no idea how I got here or how I’m going to get out.” He stops and tries to take a deep breath but it gets caught in his chest. He’s having a hard time feeling his fingers even as he wiggles them back and forth and his heart it beating like a drum beneath his ribs.

Calvin presses a hand to his shoulder and leans over him. “Sid, you okay? You have to breathe, I think you’re having a panic attack.”

“I’m fine,” Sid says but it’s weak and shaky and he ends up knocking Calvin’s hand away when he brings both of his own to his face and presses the heel of his hands against his eyes. “I’m fine. I’m okay.”

“You really don’t seem okay,” Calvin says and Sid laughs for the first time in a long time.

“That’s not even all of it. There’s the guy. I fucked it up big time. I let myself feel way too much and I can’t stop and it’s killing me.”

“Is he nice,” Calvin asks. “Does he treat you well?”

“Yeah,” Sid answers, “he’s great. He’s the best.”

“They why aren’t you with him?”

Sid removes one hand from his face and peeks out at Calvin. “Are you kidding?”

“No. You’re a great guy. You deserve to be happy.”

“I fuck guys for a living.”

“Guys don’t care about that,” Calvin says and Sid rolls his eyes. “The right guy won’t care about that. You’re doing what you have to to make sure that you survive. You’re taking care of yourself. That’s brave. Fuck anyone that ever gives you shit about it.”

Sid’s eyebrows shoot up. He doesn’t think he’s ever heard him swear before.

“Plus, if you can’t find a happy ending how is someone like me supposed to?”

Sid pushes himself up on one elbow and puts his hand over Calvin’s knee. “You know you’re a really great person, don’t you? I know you don’t always feel the best about yourself but deep down, past all the bullshit you have to know that.”

“I pay you to say things like that,” Calvin says softly and Sid shakes his head.

“No, you pay me for sex. Anything I say to you is the truth and it has nothing to do with money. You’re really sweet and kind and attractive-.”

Calvin huffs a laugh and Sid squeezes his knee. He’s not classically handsome but the so called flaws are charming.

“It’s the truth,” Sid insists. “I know it’s not easy but all you need is a little confidence and you’ll be turning guys away left and right.”

“Actually,” Calvin says. His head is ducked down in embarrassment at Sid’s kind words but when he lifts it to look at Sid he’s smiling. “I talked to a guy in the Starbucks I always go to before work. He was in front of me in line and it was probably pointless because he’s probably straight but I still did it.”

Sid knows how much courage that took and he leans in and wraps his arms around Calvin.

“That’s amazing,” he says when he pulls back. “I’m really proud of you.”

Calvin blushes. “Thanks. It really wasn’t that big of a deal,” he says even though Sid knows that it was. “But, if I can do that then you can talk to this guy.”

“It’s different,” Sid says. “We’re too different. We’re from completely different worlds. He can do better than me, he should do better than me and it won’t be long until he finds it.”

“You wouldn’t let me talk about myself like that so I’m not going to let you.”

“Where did this new found confidence come from?”

Calvin shrugs. “I don’t know but maybe you should find some for yourself. Tell this guy how you feel.”

“I think before I do that I have to get myself in order. Figure out what I’m going to do with my life, you know? Get it together.”

Calvin nods. “How are you going to do that?”

Sid takes a deep breath and exhales slowly. “I think I have to stop doing this.”

 


	15. Chapter 15

He has to change his number.

Most of his clients are understanding, although clearly disappointed. It’s hard to find someone else that they can trust but Sid knows that that is not his problem.

They’ll adjust and they’ll get over it.

There are a few however, that are suddenly not taking no for an answer so Sid dips into the money Geno paid him and buys himself the newest iPhone.

It feels like a fresh start.

When the employee at the Apple store asks him if he wants to download all his contacts from the cloud he shakes his head.

“Not all of them.”

He keeps Calvin’s, he’d liked to keep in touch with him even if they aren’t sleeping together and Kris’s and Flower’s. He hesitates over Geno’s name for a moment before he presses delete.

_A fresh start._

_I changed my number,_ Sid texts to Calvin. _Only giving it out to friends from now on. Wanted to make sure you had it._

He presses _send_ then hurriedly sends a follow up.

_This is Sid by the way._

Calvin texts back a _:)_ and a _I figured lol._

He texts Kris too.

_This is Sid. Had to change my number. This is it if you want it._

Two hours later he gets an _ok_ back from Kris and it feels like a start.

He applies for every job he can find.

The holiday season is in full swing so it’s easy to pick up a part time retail job stocking shelves in the morning and a job as a waiter after that.

It’s not ideal but it’s good, _legal_ work and it’s enough to put on a apartment application when he finally starts to look.

There’s not a lot of options out there within the budget he’s set for himself so he scans the classifieds, highlights anything that might work, and saves his money.

 

 _I went to the Museum Of Natural History yesterday,_ Calvin texts him while Sid is in the middle of his break at the restaurant. _There were signs out that they were hiring. You should apply. I think you’d be good at that. You like history, right?_

 _What were you doing there?_ Sid texts back. He doesn’t know many New Yorkers who would go there willingly on a weekend.

 _I had a date,_ Calvin texts back.

_Way to bury the lead. How’d it go? Who was it with?_

_The guy from Starbucks. Apply and then I’ll tell you the rest._

It turns out there are quite a few job openings available at the museum.

Most of them he skips right over. He doesn't have the proper degree or experience needed but there are a few he lingers on.

One in particular manages to catch his eye.

Visitor Services Representative.

He could do that. Selling tickets, running the coat check, providing information about the exhibits and the events at the museum to visitors. It seems easy enough and he has all the proper qualifications. A high school diploma, customer service experience, cash handling experience.

He laughs at the last part and thinks _if they only knew,_ as he starts to fill out the application.

He’s not expecting to hear anything back anytime soon, if at all, so he’s shocked when a few days later he checks his email and sees a message from the head of HR at the museum.

She seems impressed by his resume and eager to meet him.

 _I have an opening tomorrow at noon if you’re able to make it,_ she writes.

It’s soon but that kind of quick turnaround means he doesn’t have enough time to get nervous. He quickly sends her a message that tomorrow works for him and the message back from her is almost instantaneous.

_Thank you for getting back to me so quickly! Look forward to meeting you! - Helen._

Sid takes a deep breath. This seems like a big deal. This could be his first full time job. It could be dependable and reliable and somewhere down the line he could have the opportunity to take on more responsibilities. This could be a career.

He takes another deep breath to calm himself down. He’s getting ahead of himself. It’s entirely possible that Helen seems that excited to meet everyone and there’s someone out there that’s more qualified than him that will actually get the job. He needs to be realistic and not get his hopes up. He’s certainly no stranger to things not working out or going his way but there’s something about this that feels different. For the first time in a long time he feels hopeful.

 

It’s pours the following day.

Steady, icy, rain that snarls traffic and floods subway platforms. He’s soaked and chilled through to the bone by the time he makes it back to the hotel and, thanks to his connecting train running behind schedule, he’s in danger of being late to his interview.

He takes a quick shower to get some warmth back into his body and does his best with his hair, he still desperately needs a haircut, before pulling on the suit Geno bought for him.

It’s still the nicest thing he owns and he wants to make a good first impression.

He lingers over the cufflinks that he’s hidden in the top dresser drawer before deciding against them and pulling on his coat. It’s old and worn and clashes with the suit but it’s all he has. He zips it up all the way in preparation to protect as much of the suit as he can from the rain then grabs his keys and his wallet. He checks his hair one last time in the mirror by the front door even though he knows it’s going to get messed up by the rain as soon as he steps into it. With a semi defeated sigh he reaches for the door and pulls it open then freezes in place.

Geno’s standing on the other side, hand raised and ready to knock. The frown on Geno’s face melts away to a smile, wide and warm, and he lowers his hand.

“Sid,” he says, voice flooded with relief and Sid fights against an instinct to shut the door and go hide. “Hi.”

“What are you doing here,” Sid asks and steps back as Geno steps forward into the room.

Geno looks wildly out of place in Sid’s dingy hotel room in his pressed black slacks and camel colored trench. He’s all clean, sharp lines that clash against the water stains on the ceiling and the peeling and faded wallpaper. He looks good, too good for this kind of world and as Sid stands there in his expensive and gifted suit he feels like a fraud.

“What are you doing here,” Sid asks again. “How did you find out where I live?”

“I’m here to see you,” Geno says, his eyebrows pulled together like that should be an answer that Sid already knows. “I miss you. You don’t talk to me, don’t answer phone when I call, Kris says you blocked me-.”

“Is that how you found me? You asked Kris?”

Geno shakes his head. “I asked driver that picked you up before Miami. Would have come sooner but I was out of town on business. Lady at front desk told me what room.”

“She shouldn’t have done that.”

“She wasn’t going to until I gave her twenty dollars,” he says with a sly smile and Sid rolls his eyes. Of course he threw money at the problem. “Sid, why do you live here? Is bad.”

Embarrassment boils over into anger as Sid pushes past him. “A lot of people live here because they have to. It’s all they can afford. It’s the best they can do and there’s no reason to be ashamed about it.”

“Get that,” Geno says as he follows Sid out the door, closing it behind him. Sid’s not sure if it’s locked but it doesn’t really matter. There’s not much anyone can steal in there. “Didn’t always have money, I understand. Why you here? Didn’t you get money I gave you?”

“That pays my bills,” Sid says as he stops at the elevator and punches at the button. “It’s not for trivial things.”

“Where you live is not trivial. Is important. You need more money, Sid? Can give. Can help you.”

“I don’t want your money,” Sid says angrily as he pokes a little harder at the button, like that’s going to make the elevator move faster.

“You can’t live here, Sid,” Geno says. “Should have some place nicer.”

“Do you want to know why I’m living here,” Sid snaps and Geno’s eyebrows shoot up in surprise. “I used to have a really nice apartment that I really like but then you’re company bought it, raised the rent, and kicked every tenant who couldn’t afford it out so you could turn it into a luxury apartment building. That’s why I have to live here.”

Geno looks completely distraught as the elevator dings and the doors open.

“It’s not so bad here,” Sid says as he steps in. “I spent a few nights in the park so this is an upgrade.”

“I didn’t know,” Geno says softly then slaps his hands on the elevator doors to keep them from closing. His voice is stronger when he says it again. “I didn’t know. I promise. I didn’t mean-.”

“Of course you didn’t know,” Sid says as he tries to push Geno’s hands away. “There’s nothing you could have done about it anyways.”

“Could have stopped it,” Geno insists. “Could have picked another building.”

“So you could evict all those people instead of me? That’s nice.”

“Didn’t mean it like that. Why didn’t you tell me?”

“It wasn’t your problem. It’s not your problem. Can you get in or get out, I running late for an appointment.”

Geno clamors into the elevator beside Sid and hits the button for the lobby as the doors slowly close.

“You have appointment,” Geno repeats and Sid watches his throat work as he swallows. “With a client?”

Sid’s tempted to say yes just to see Geno’s reaction but he shakes his head instead. “I have a job interview and I need it to go well. I’m almost running late as it is.”

“Let me take you,” Geno says quickly. “Have driver out front.”

“I don’t think so.”

“Come on. Never going to catch cab and train is how many blocks away? Going to be soaked by the time you make it. Not a good first impression to walk into interview all wet.”

Sid knows he’s right and sitting in the comfortable back seat of Geno’s car sounds a lot better than squeezing onto a subway car with dozens of other cranky commuters.

“Don’t even have an umbrella,” Geno says as he points to Sid’s empty hands and Sid sighs.

“Fine,” he says as the doors slide open and he steps ahead of Geno into the lobby. The rain is still coming down in buckets outside and it looks like the streets are just beginning to flood. “You can take me.”

Geno’s car is parked illegally on the street and Geno hurries to open the back door for Sid and climbs in behind him. Geno taps on the divider once he closes the door and it slowly rolls down to reveal the same driver that picked Sid up and drove him to the airport.

“Mr. Crosby,” the driver says with a nod and a pleasant smile. “It’s nice to see you again.”

Sid smiles tightly back, annoyed that the driver gave up his address so easily but still unfailingly polite.

“Taking Sid to job interview,” Geno says then turns to Sid. “You have address?”

“I’m going to the Museum of Natural History,” Sid says and the drive nods while Geno looks at him sharply.

“That’s where you have interview,” Geno asks as he leans back against the seat and the divider rolls back up.

“Yes,” Sid says a bit more defensively than he means to. “What about it?”

Geno shakes his head and shrugs as the car pulls away. “Nothing. Is nice museum. Think you would do well there.”

“It’s basically an entry level position,” Sid says as he picks at the fraying hem of his coat. “I probably won’t even get it.”

He looks up and expects Geno to launch himself into a rant about how of course he’s going to get it, there’s no way anyone would ever turn him down, but he stays quiet and Sid appreciates that. At least Geno isn’t lying to him.

The ride is silent for blocks and blocks save for the sound of the water splashing beneath the tires and hitting the windows. but somewhere around 56th street Geno clears his throat.

“Had to call Kris to make sure you were okay,” Geno says. “Was worried.”

“He told me.”

“Wish you would have picked up when I called. He said you blocked me. Don’t know what I did to make you so mad.”

“You didn’t do anything,” Sid says. “It wasn’t your fault. I just needed some space. I needed to figure some things out.”

“Have you?”

“I think I’m starting to. I’m getting there at least. I’ve stopped…” He pauses and tries to figure out how to word this. “I don’t have clients anymore.”

Geno turns his whole body to look at him more directly. “Really?”

Sid nods. “For a few weeks now. I’m trying to...I don’t know, get myself together. I guess I didn’t really understand how big of a mess I really was.”

“Everyone kind of messy,” Geno says softly and Sid laughs.

“I guess so. But I had to fix my mess.”

The car slows to a stop outside of the museum and Sid heaves a sigh.

“Thank you for giving me a ride,” he says, “I appreciate it.” He goes to open the door but Geno stops him with a hand on his arm.

When Sid turns back around Geno is shrugging out of his coat.

“Take,” he says as he holds it out. “Your jacket doesn’t go with your suit.”

Sid touches the zipper up by his throat. “It’s the only one I had.”

“So, take,” Geno says as he shakes his coat. “You want to look the best you can, right? Jacket might be warm but doesn’t look good. Take.”

Sid reaches out and curls his fingers around the fabric. It’s soft and warm and tempting but he knows Geno’s body.

“It’s not going to fit,” he says as he unzips his jacket. “It’s going to be too tight. That’s not going to look good either.”

“Leave it open.” Geno says as he helps pull the jacket down Sid’s arms so he can pull Geno’s on. It’s a little snug in the arms but it’ll work. “Only going up the steps and into the building. Not far at all. There.” He says as he helps adjust the collar of the coat. “Now you look perfect. Going to get job for sure.”

Sid can’t stop the blush from coloring his cheeks as he opens the car door.

“See you,” he says and Geno smiles and nods with Sid’s coat folded up in his lap. “Thanks again.”

“Good luck,” Geno answers and Sid shuts the door and hurries up the stairs toward the front doors. He tucks his face into his shoulders to protect it from the rain and breathes in the strong, familiar scent of Geno’s cologne.


	16. Chapter 16

Helen’s office is small and warm with a bright red poinsettia on the filing cabinet and framed photographs lining her desk. The photos are mostly of two little girls dressed up for Halloween or sitting in high chairs side by side with baby food everywhere or propped up and sitting on either side of the largest standard poodle Sid has ever seen. There’s also one photo of Helen and another women pressed close together, each holding a swaddled newborn in their arms.

“The girls are a lot bigger now,” Helen says when she turns around, Sid’s file in hand, and catches him looking. “Time moves so fast. Seems like just yesterday my wife and I brought them home from the hospital.” She looks at Sid, as if to gauge his reaction.

Sid smiles and says “they’re beautiful,” and Helen’s face lights up.

“They’re a handful,” she says, “but they’re everything.” She smiles wistfully down at the photographs then sighs and takes her seat. “Now, let's talk about you.”

It turns out Helen is an NYU alumni as well and they chat about the school and the classes and one truly monstrous professor that she had. She seems impressed with his work ethic and how he went right to work after graduating.

“Most kids go back home to live with their parents for a few years but you got right to it.”

“I didn’t really have the option to go home,” Sid says and thankfully she doesn’t ask him to elaborate.

She goes over the job next, what’s expected of him, the hours, the pay, and the benefits and Sid nods along. It all seems manageable and fair, even a little exciting. Work has always been _work_ but this finally seems like a job he could actually look forward to going to everyday.

“I do like to ask applicants why they think they would be a good fit for this job,” Helen says. “What draws you to it, why you think you’ll be successful. Why do you want it?”

“To be honest,” Sid says, “I need this job. My life has not been everything that I’ve wanted it to be lately, or ever, if I’m really being honest. I think I can be better and I can do better and I think this job will be the start. I really, really want it to be the start.”

“Well,” Helen says, “If I’m being honest with you I still have a few more applicants to see but I really like everything you’ve brought to the table here and I should be getting back to you one way or the other before the week is through.”

“Thank you,” Sid says as he stands and shakes her hand. “Thank you for the opportunity to even come in here today. It really means a lot.”

Helen’s waves her free hand at him and laughs. “You’re too polite. But you’re very welcome, it was lovely meeting you.”

 

The rain has slowed to a drizzle by the time he steps out of the museum. He digs his hands into the pocket of Geno’s coat in an attempt to ward off the biting chill in the air and sets off down the sidewalk.

Without Geno’s number Sid doesn’t have any way of getting in contact with him to get the coat back. Not that he thinks Geno expects it back- he’s probably already bought a replacement coat, maybe already had a spare in the back of the car.

He could finally bite the bullet and get in contact with Kris and ask him if he still had Geno’s number from when he called...but that’s a slippery slope. It starts with a phone call and then an invitation for coffee or dinner or drinks and ends with him back in Geno’s bed.

His head knows that’s not where he needs to be right now even if his heart can’t seem to understand that.

He misses the call from Helen three days later. He picked up an extra shift at the restaurant covering for one of his coworkers so he doesn’t check his phone until he’s ready to go home at the end of the night.

He’s tired and his feet hurt from running back and forth from the kitchen to the dining room for eight hours so he’s halfway down the block before he realizes what Helen is saying in the message.

“....call me back when you can,” Helen says, “we’ll set up a time for you to come in and fill out the paperwork and then we’ll talk about a start date. We’re looking forward to having you on board.”

Sid stops suddenly on the sidewalk and after apologizing to the guy that accidentally walks into him he plays the message back.

“Hi Sidney, this is Helen at the museum. I’m calling to formally offer you a position on our staff, call me back when you can-.”

Sid turns around immediately, heads back into the restaurant and quits on the spot.

In the morning he turns in his notice at the store and leaves while his manager complains about leaving him shorthanded.

Sid should probably feel bad about it as he turns in his name tag and walks out the doors for the last time but his future is ahead of him and that’s all he can think about.

He calls Helen on his way home.

The museum isn’t open yet but he figures she probably gets their early. When she doesn’t pick up he waits an anxious ten minutes then tries again.

She picks up on the fourth ring sounding slightly out of breath as she apologizes for taking so long to answer.

“Traffic was a nightmare this morning, usually I’m here at least an hour earlier than this.”

“It’s okay,” Sid says back, “I’m sorry for calling so early anyways, I guess I’m just anxious.”

“I hope it’s a good anxious,” Helen says. “We’re all very excited to have you on board, especially after the call from Mr. Malkin.”

Sid’s ears ring. Maybe he heard that wrong.

“I’m sorry, a call from who?”

“Mr. Malkin,” Helen says. “You know he’s one of our biggest donors, right? Anyways, he called a few hours after your interview and wanted me to know how impressed he was with you when you worked for him.”

Sid sits down heavily on the curb. The bottom of Geno’s coat is going to get dirty but he doesn’t care.

“When I worked for him,” Sid repeats and Helen hums, like her attention isn’t fully on this conversation. She’s probably starting up her computer or looking over paperwork. She has no idea that Sid is having a crisis on the other end of the line.

“At the 71 Foundation. Volunteer work is still work, Sidney and when you have a reference like Evgeni Malkin at your disposal you should definitely put both on your resume. He said he had an inkling that you wouldn’t though so he called me personally to talk you up. The way he talked about you...I’m surprised he didn’t offer you a full time job….Sid? Are you still there?”

“I’m sorry,” Sid says as he shakes his head. “I don’t think I have very good reception here. I think…” He doesn’t know what to think. “Can I um….”

“Sidney, are you okay?”

“Im fine.”

“What time would you like to come in to sign the paperwork,” she asks gently and Sid feels like he’s blowing this. “We can do it today…”

“Could we do it tomorrow,” he asks. “I have a few loose ends to tie up with one of my old jobs.”

“Of course. Do you want to come in around ten tomorrow?”

“That’s great,” Sid says tightly then wills his voice to sound normal when he adds, “i’ll see you then.”

Geno has an office in the Financial District.

It’s a long shot that he’ll be in today and an even longer one that Sid will be able to see him without an appointment but he’s not exactly thinking with clear head as he takes the train from 34th street to Chambers.

There’s a reception desk in the lobby and the man behind it smiles pleasantly to him when Sid steps up to it.

“I’m here to see Evgeni Malkin,” Sid says, “do you know if he’s in today?”

“Do you have an appointment,” the man asks and when Sid shakes his head he gives Sid an apologetic smile. “Then I’m sorry Sir, but-.”

“He’ll want to see me,” Sid says, “trust me. He just doesn’t know I’m coming but he’ll see me if he’s here. I know he will.”

“I’m really sorry, Sir, but I can’t let you up there without an appointment. It’s policy.”

“I understand that,” Sid says, “but this is important. Can you please just call him and tell him that Sidney Crosby is here to see him. Please.”

The receptionist gives him a long look. “Do you have ID on you?” Sid pulls his wallet out of his back pocket and slides his license across the counter. The receptionist looks at it for a long moment before he looks up at Sid and hands it back.

Sid’s just about to argue his case further when the man picks up the phone and dials.

“Hi, Samantha, I have a Sidney Crosby down here to see Mr. Malkin.” He pauses and nods as Samantha says something on the other end of the line. “Okay,” he says, and then adds “thank you,” before hangs up and looks to Sid. “Fifteenth floor. Elevators are to your right.”

“Thank you,” Sid says as he slides his license back into his wallet and heads for the elevators.

 

It’s a straight shot up, the elevator not stopping once before the bell chimes and the doors open on Geno’s floor.

There’s another reception desk right in front of him when he steps out and a woman with a high blonde ponytail smiles at him.

“You must be Sidney,” she says as she extends her hand for Sid to shake. “It’s so nice to finally meet you. I’m so sorry about the little mix up downstairs. Mr. Malkin always told us that if you ever dropped by you were to be allowed up right away. It won’t happen again, I promise.” She finally drops Sid’s hand and gives him another smile. “Mr. Malkin’s office is right down that hall,” she says as she points a finger over her shoulder. “The last I knew he was on a call but I’m sure he’ll be happy to see you.”

Sid nods in thanks then starts off down the hall, past the rows of cubicles and meeting rooms toward the glass encased office at the very end.

Sid can see Geno behind the desk, phone pressed to his ear with one hand while he shuffles papers with the other.

The Hudson river stretches out behind him.

Geno looks up when Sid is halfway down the hall, like he can sense him coming and a smile spreads across his face as he quickly hangs up the phone and stands.

“Sid,” Geno says as Sid steps into the office. “Hi.”

“What the fuck were you thinking,” Sid snaps and the smile vanishes from Geno’s face as he curls around the desk and shuts the office door behind Sid.

“Sid,” he says, voice low as he tries to usher him further into the office.

Sid shakes off the hand on his shoulder and shakes his head at Geno’s invitation to take a seat in one of the leather chairs on the other side of his desk. “What the fuck is wrong with you? I told you I didn’t want your money.”

“Never gave you money,” Geno says slowly.

“You’re a donor at the museum and you called to get me a job, that’s using your money. Fuck, Geno, you don’t even care about what you just did.”

“Wanted to help. Feel bad about apartment-.”

“I didn’t want your help. Did you think i couldn’t do it on my own?”

“Think you can do anything, Sid.

“You lied to her and then you made me lie. What if they want proof? What if someone goes looking?”

“No one will look.”

“But what if they do?” “Then I’ll come up with something. I’ll make it work. Nothing for you to worry about.”

“You’re not getting it,” Sid mutters.

“That’s what business is,” Geno says, eyes searching for something safe to land on because it can’t be Sid. Not with the fire in his eyes. “You use connections.”

“Connections? You’re just some guy I fucked for money, we don’t have a connection.”

It’s ugly and mean and untrue but Sid can’t take it back. He only bites his lip so he can’t say anything else.

“Don’t want to fight,” Geno says quietly. “Don’t know why we fight in the first place.”

“Because I need to get away from you,” Sid answers. “I don’t want this. I don’t want you helping me or giving me rides places or…” He remembers what he’s wearing and slides the coat off his arms then drops it on Geno’s desk. “Giving me your coat. It’s over, what we had...our arrangement. It’s done. I don’t do that anymore so there’s no point in seeing each other anymore. I want you to leave me alone.”

The look Geno gives him makes Sid’s heart break all over again. It’s sad and dejected and Sid feels like a monster but this is for the best. This is what has to be done and words hurt but Sid needs to say them and Geno needs to hear them.

“Just stay out of my job and out of my life. Go find someone else to screw around with if you haven’t already.”

“Sid.” His name falls broken from his lips and Sid quickly shakes his head. If he’s going to move on from this life he might as well burn it all down on his way out.

Make Geno hate him so it’ll be easier for Sid to get over him.

“Just leave me alone, okay? I’m done.”

He leaves with eyes following him down the hall as he goes. He doesn’t look back, and he tries not to regret it.

 

Two hours later he finds himself standing outside of Kris’s door, weighed down with bottles of liquor freshly purchased from the package store as he pounds on the door.

“I’m coming,” he hears Kris yell from inside the apartment. Footsteps get closer and closer as he yells “Jesus fuck, hold on.”

The door yanks open and Kris is there, barefoot and pissed.

“Your old roommates told me I could find you here,” Sid says and when Kris opens his mouth Sid barrels on. “I know you hate me and you probably don’t want to see me right now but my day sucked and I really, really, really need my best friend right now. So, can I please come in?”

Kris looks him over, gaze lingering on the bag in his hand. “You brought booze?”

Sid lifts the bag. “A lot of it.”

Kris nods and steps back, holding the door open for him. “Come on in, Bud.”


	17. Chapter 17

**_Five years later._ **

 

 

“Miguel….Miguel, Miguel, can you hear me?” Sid drops the radio to his side and looks around the kitchen. “Has anyone seen Miguel?”

He gets a chorus of _‘no’s’_ from the museum staff, all running around trying to help the caterers unload the next round of appetizers and bottles of champagne.

It’s organized chaos, leaning heavily into the chaos part and Sid desperately needs to find Miguel. Or Susan.

“What about Susan, anyone seen Susan?”

“Behind you,” several people call out and Sid whips around to find Susan standing behind him, remote in hand an an anxious smile on her face.

“Oh, thank god, you found the remote,” Sid says as he wraps one arm around her shoulder and leads her out of the kitchen. “Where’d you find it?”

“It was on the table next to the projector,” she says as they hang a left and head up the stairs. “I don’t know how we missed it.”

“Doesn’t matter,” Sid says quickly and slaps on a smile as they emerge in the front hall. “You found it. That’s all that matters. Does it work? Have you tried playing the video? We only have about twenty minutes before we go live.”

Guests have been arriving in a steady stream for the last forty minutes, making their way slowly around the exhibits on the first floor before settling down at their assigned table beneath the blue whale in the Hall of Ocean Life.

There are about ninety five different things going wrong at the moment, all of which need and deserve his attention but getting the welcome video up and and running is at the top of his list.

“Well,” Susan says, and Sid’s only half listening, too busy noticing the salt and sand from the sidewalk that the guests have tracked in on their shoes and wondering why the hell mats weren’t put down in the entryway to prevent that. “Sid,” Susan says again, tugging at his jacket, and Sid finally looks down. “We don’t have batteries.”

Sid blinks at her. A group of guests laugh across the room, the sound echoing off the high ceilings and bouncing back down.

“What?”

“We don’t have batteries. I have looked everywhere, we all have but we just don’t have any.”

“Okay,” Sid says, willing his voice to be calm as he can as he pulls out his wallet and hands her his company credit card. “There’s a Duane Reade on 75th that’s still open. Go get a pack of batteries, get two packs. Just hurry up, but be careful,” he quickly adds, “sidewalks might be icy.”

She grabs the card and takes off in a power walk, nodding and smiling at the donors that happen to meander in front of her on her way out the door.

Sid spins away from the crowd and tucks himself down the hall toward the gift shop before he brings the radio back up to his lips.

“Miguel, if you can hear me, can you please respond.”

The radio crackles and then a voice says “I think he’s in the coat check helping Miranda and Ethan.”

“Why is he helping them?”

“They were having an issue.”

Sid starts to sweat. “What kind of issue?”

“I don’t know, Sid. One of the caterers just dropped a flat of champagne so I kind of have my hands full back here.”

“Oh my god.”

“It’s fine, it’s fine. It’s gonna be fine. Go find, Miguel.”

The radio goes dead and Sid takes a deep breath before he spins back into the rotunda, skirting his way around guests as they stare up at the fossils and toward the coat check where there’s an alarming line forming.

Sid slips through the side door, a question on his lips, but it dies out when he sees Ethan and Miguel with their arms stretched straight out at their sides and coats thrown over them.

“What the hell,” Sid asks as Miranda ducks into the room and folds two more coats over Miguel’s arms.

“We’re out of coat hangers,” she says. “Don’t ask me how, I don’t know, but we are.”

“And this is your solution?”

“I didn’t know what else do to,” she says frantically and Sid puts his hands up, trying to calm her.

“Okay, all right. Here’s what we’re going to do. I just sent Susan to the pharmacy with my credit card to get batteries. Miguel, go catch up to her and buy more coat hangers. Hopefully they have some.”

Miguel looks at him, wide eyed, and wiggles his arms, weighed down with coats. “What do I do about these?”

“Put them down, gently. Ethan, try to keep everything organized until he gets back, Miranda, work on getting the line down, that’s the most important thing. You guys can hang everything up once the guests are seated.”

“What if they don’t have coat hangers,” Miguel asks as Sid helps him lower the last of the coats onto a pile on the counter.

“Consolidate,” Sid says. “Fold the men’s coats in half vertically and fold them over the hanger like you’d hang a pair of pants. Then put the women’s coats over that. Men are less likely to notice a wrinkle and even if they do, less likely to care. Hey, do we know why no one put mats down in the entryway? The entire floor is covered in salt.”

“I did put mats down,” Miguel says, “it’s not my fault these rich people don’t know how to wipe their feet.”

“That’s fair,” Sid says. “Be careful on the sidewalks, they might be-.”

“Icy,” Miguel interrupts with a laugh. “I know, I know, God, you’re such a Dad sometimes.”

“That’s what happens when you turn thirty,” Sid says and sighs down at the mess of coats in front of him. “You know, this didn’t seem all that stressful last year.”

“Because you weren’t in charge of it,” Miranda says as she dumps three more coats onto the pile.

That is true. He’s helped out in the past but this is his first year in charge of the the Donor’s Recognition Dinner as Lead Event Coordinator and he wishes things were running just a bit more smoothly.

“Hey,” Miranda says, “good news, it’s almost over.”

“It hasn’t even started.”

She shrugs. “I was just trying to make you feel better.”

Sid laughs. Right now, this job is a nightmare but the people who work for him are the absolute best. “Thanks. Now I gotta go see about some spilled champagne in the kitchen. Might be sending Susan and Miguel to the liquor store next.”

“Have a glass,” Ethan says as he carefully folds a jacket over the hanger. “You look like you need one.”

“Don’t I know it,” Sid mumbles as he makes his way out of the coat check and back toward the rotunda. In his pocket the radio pops to life with static. He reaches into his pocket to lower the volume and when he can’t immediately find the button he looks down and between one step and the next runs right into a guest who grabs him by the arms to steady him.

“I am so sorry,” Sid says, “I wasn’t looking where I was going, are you all-.”

“Sid.”

Sid snaps his mouth shut and looks up.

 _Handsome_ , is the first thing Sid thinks as he looks up at Geno. _Older_ is the second as he takes in the salt and pepper color of Geno’s hair where it’s cropped close around his temples. It’s been five years and Geno’s into his mid thirties but the time has been good to him.

“Hi,” Sid stutters out and Geno smiles. _So damn handsome._ “I’m...hi.”

“Hi,” Geno says back and steps back, letting go of Sid’s elbow. “Hi, Sid.”

They stare at each other, Sid’s radio still making noise in his pocket and Geno with his hands fiddling with the knot of his tie. Sid has so much work to do, last minute things that he needs to check on but he can’t seem to make his feet move away from this spot.

“Hope is okay I come,” Geno says.

“You were invited. I saw that you RSVP’d so....” He trails off. Geno is always invited and he always sends back the RSVP but this is the first time he’s actually shown up.

This is the first time Sid’s had to think about him since that night he showed up at Kris’s and spilled every last one of his feelings out onto the new carpeting in his apartment. They drank way too much alcohol and smoked way too many cigarettes and vowed in the morning to never though either of them ever again. They both kept their promise with the cigarettes, the alcohol, not so much.

“Look good,” Geno says and Sid tugs at the sleeves of his suit and tries not to compare it to the tux that Geno is wearing.

“So do you,” Sid says and Geno pulls a face.

“Old.”

“Not that old.”

“Feel it,” Geno shoots back and rolls his shoulders like Sid’s supposed to hear his joints popping or his bones creaking.

Even if Sid could, Geno still looks good. Long and lean and fitting into his tux just right.

“Museum looks good,” Geno says as he looks around at the twinkling lights and Christmas decorations that are hanging around the rotunda. “You’re in charge of events now, yes? You did all this?”

Sid laughs. “Not on my own. I had a lot of help.”

“Looks good, really good.”

“Thanks for saying that but between you and me things are kind of a mess.”

“Can’t tell,” Geno says quickly. “Doing a great job.”

Sid swells with pride and it’s nice, this easy conversation, like they’re two old friends and not...whatever it is they were.

Behind Geno, Susan and Miguel slip through the front door, weighed down with plastic bags and Sid gives Geno a tight smile.

“I have to get going,” he says and Geno frowns. “I have to deal with one of the messes that you can’t see.” He steps around Geno and Geno turns his body to follow. “It was good to see you again. I hope you enjoy your dinner.”

“Sid, wait.” Geno says. “Can we talk later? Have some things I need to say.”

“I’m going to be busy the whole time.”

“After then?”

“It’s going to be a late night. I have to help clean all this up.”

“I can wait. If you want. If you don’t then I’ll go. Won’t bother you. Up to you.”

Sid is thirty years old. He’s secure with himself and mature enough to take on his past instead of run from it.

He nods. “If you can wait,” he says, “i’ll come find you.”.

“Thank you,” Geno says, sounding so sincere that it’s hard for Sid to turn away.

 

He watches the welcome video from the back of the hall at the top of the stairs.

Beneath him sit table after table of wealthy donors, sipping champagne and calculating how much of their own money they’re going to give to the museum in the upcoming year.

This is easily the twentieth time he’s seen the video so Sid’s mind wanders to the janitor mopping up the salt in the rotunda and Ethan and Miranda hanging expensive coats on cheap hangers from the pharmacy two blocks away and to Geno, who is sitting at table eleven and didn’t bring a guest. Not that it means anything.

Sid hears footsteps behind him and when they come to a stop beside him he closes his eyes and takes a second to enjoy his last moment of peace.

“Sid?”

He looks down at Linda who is bouncing nervously on her toes.

“What is it?” “We have a problem,” she says and Sid sighs and turns away from the video.

“What else is new,” he asks as he follows her out of the hall.

 

It’s technically morning by the time the last of the guests leave and the final table is folded up and tucked back into storage.

His tie is balled up and shoved in his pocket and his jacket is wrinkled and there’s a tomato sauce stain on his shirt from when he ate his dinner too quickly. But it’s over and he’s happy and he makes sure every tired looking coworker of his knows just how appreciated they are.

He gives a little speech and doesn’t take it personally when it’s met with half-hearted applause. They’re all dead on their feet and he tells them to head home and enjoy the following day off.

On his way out Miguel hands him a full bottle of champagne and claps him on the shoulder.

“Take it,” he says, “you deserve it.”

Sid’s not going to argue that.

He doesn’t expect to see Geno. No one sticks around this late just to talk so it’s a shock when he walks out the front doors and finds him sitting on the steps.

“I’m surprised you’re sitting there,” Sid says and Geno startled and turns around. “Might get your tux dirty.”

“Is just fabric,” Geno says. “Can get dry cleaned.”

Sid sits down beside him, setting the bottle of champagne between his feet. “Maybe I’m just surprised to see you at all.”

“I say I’m wait, so I’m wait. You cold? Want to go inside? Want my jacket?”

Sid shakes his head. “The fresh air feels good. I’ve been running around all night.”

“You did great job. Perfect evening.”

“I’m glad you think so.”

Geno knocks their shoulders together. “Know so.” He nods down at the champagne. “You bring to celebrate?”

Sid reaches down and hands the bottle over. “If you can open it I’ll share. I don’t have glasses, though.”

Geno gives him a sidelong look as he unwraps the foil. “Too good to drink out of bottle? Hot shot event coordinator now?”

Sid tips his head back and laughs. “Hardly.”

“Big deal though,” Geno says as he loosens the wire cage and gets a good grip with one hand on the base of the bottle and the other on the cork. “Get promoted so quick.”

“Doesn’t feel like it,” Sid says, clinching away like he’s afraid the cork is going to shoot out. It feels like it took forever to get where he is now. “I went back to school,” he says and Geno makes an interested noise as he twists the bottle. “Night classes mostly. For communications. The museum helped me pay for it.”

“That’s great, Sid,” Geno says, bottom lip pulled between his teeth as he finally works the cork loose. He holds the bottle out to Sid. “You first. Deserve.”

Sid thanks him then takes a small sip. The bubbles tickle his nose.

“You happy, here,” Geno asks. “With job. Life?”

“That’s a big question,” Sid says as he passes over the bottle. He doesn’t look at the way Geno’s lips wrap around the mouth of the bottle as he takes a drink. “But yeah, I’m happy. It’s like things finally worked themselves out.”

“What about you, are you happy?”

Geno doesn’t say anything for a moment so Sid decides to cut right to the quick.

“You almost got married last year, didn’t you? During the summer?”

Geno looks over at him and lowers the bottle. “Yes. Almost. If you believe tabloids.”

“What about the gigantic ring on her finger? That looked pretty real.”

Geno presses the bottle back into Sid’s hand. “Would have been easy. Make parents happy, make lawyers happy. Get married, have kids, have someone to inherit my money.” He shrugs. “She was willing. She was nice. Would have been good.”

“Then why didn’t you do it?”

“Wasn’t love,” he says simply. “Was just business. Tired of business.”

Sid takes another drink, longer and deeper this time and wishes he had something stronger.

“Sid, want to say sorry.”

“You don’t have to.”

“Have to. Need to. What I did, making you lie, butting into your life. Was wrong. I felt so bad about your apartment and what I did…”

“I don’t blame you for that. I never did.”

“You say, but.” He stops to think, choosing his words carefully. “I think you were only person to ever like me for me. Not my money. That didn’t matter to you. Everyone else that’s all they want. All they need me for. Don’t ever really care. You were special. I would have done anything for you.”

“You were paying me,” Sid says softly. “It was about money.”

Geno shakes his head. “Was more than that, wasn’t it? You liked me.”

“I loved you,” Sid says and Geno’s eyes go wide. “I loved you and I was afraid. It wasn’t going to work, I knew it and I didn’t want it to get any deeper so I just pushed you away. I told myself I didn’t want anything to do with you. I got mad. I thought that would make me feel better and it didn’t. It still doesn’t.”

“You say _loved._ So you don’t…”

“It’s been a long time, Geno.” He watches Geno’s face fall and Sid lays his hand across Geno’s wrist. The cuff links Geno give him catch on the light from the street lights.

“You keep?” Geno asks as he lightly touches the stone.

“I couldn’t get rid of them. It’s been a long time,” he says again, “but some things you just don’t get over.”

“Oh,” Geno says. His eyes are bright as he tips forward and presses his lips to Sid’s.

Sid kisses back, dropping the bottle in favor of holding Geno’s face in his hands.

“Missed you,” Geno says, “Missed you so much.”

“I don’t know how this is going to work,” Sid says when he pulls back, his forehead resting against Geno’s. “If someone finds out what I used to do and who I used to be…”

“You worry,” Geno says. “Don’t worry. Not now. We figure out together, okay, promise. Going to be okay. Right now-.” He pauses and kisses Sid’s forehead before he stands and holds his hand out to Sid. “It’s late. You let me take you home? I have a car.”

Sid smiles and reaches for Geno’s hand. He lets himself be pulled up and tucks himself beneath Geno’s arm.

“I’d love that.”


	18. Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Epilogue.

Sid’s standing against the large, bay window, looking at the snow covered streets below when Geno comes in.

He’s on the phone, stumbling his way through a conversation in French as he makes his way through the hotel room. Sid can barely understand a word he’s saying, accent too thick and rough around the delicate words but Geno is nodding as he walks into the room so whoever is on the other end must have gotten the gist.

Geno slides up behind him and hooks his chin over Sid’s shoulder as he finishes the conversation. He feels cold, chilled through to the bone against Sid’s back. He gets out a clumsy, _Merci au revoir,_ before he hangs up and presses his lips to the back of Sid’s neck.

“Was that a business call,” Sid asks as he covers the arm Geno has around his waist with his own, his wool coat scratchy against his fingertips.

“Was making reservations for dinner,” Geno says, lips dragging against Sid’s skin as he talks. “Seven tonight. New restaurant. Very good reviews. Hard to get in.”

“Your French is awful,” Sid says and twists away when Geno pinches his side before moving away to shuck off his coat and toss it on the bed.

“Sound like your Russian.”

“I’m learning,” Sid defends.

“Slowly,” Geno says as he sits down on the bed and toes off his shoes. “And only dirty words.”

“With you what else do I need?”

Geno huffs a laugh as Sid steps away from the window and between Geno’s knees. He hooks his hands around Geno’s neck and cards his fingers through the soft hair on the back of Geno’s head.

“I missed you today,” Sid says. Sightseeing in Paris at Christmastime is something he never even dreamed of doing and while it was amazing, it would have been better with the man he loves by his side. “Do you have to work tomorrow?”

Geno looks up and shakes his head. “All yours. Tomorrow we go out together, okay? Look at lights, walk along Seine, shop.”

“I do have to get something for Kris. And Alex.”

Geno hums and drops his forehead against Sid’s stomach. “Pony,” he says against the soft cashmere of Sid’s sweater.

“I don’t Kris and Cath have room for that in their apartment.”

“Sports car.”

“You can’t park that on the street. I was thinking something more along the lines of a onesie that says _Somebody in Paris Loves Me_ or a stuffed animal. Something we can take home with us on the plane.”

“Gonna be easy to be favorite godparent when your gift ideas are so boring, Sid.”

“I’m not boring,” Sid says as he digs his fingertips into the meat of Geno’s shoulder. Geno pushes harder into Sid’s stomach, encouraging him to do it again. “You just want to spoil him.”

“That’s the point of kids, to spoil.”

“Well, we’re not getting him a horse or a car.”

Geno heaves a sigh. “Fine. Be mean.” He leans back so he can look up at Sid and squeezes his hips before he stands up. “We save those for our own kids, okay?” He kisses Sid’s temple then pulls his own sweater over his head on the way to the bathroom. “Bath,” he asks as he tosses the sweater in the direction of the hamper. “Shower? Am cold, need to warm up. Would like some company.”

Sid clears his throat, still pinned in place by the certainty of Geno’s word. _For our own kids_.

“Sid?” Geno tips his head to the side and crosses the room back to him. “Okay? You still worry about museum? I tell you, they’re fine without you. Will make it a week on their own. You need this vacation.” He puts his hands on Sid’s shoulders and rocks him back and forth. “You deserve it.”

Sid nods to clear his head. “Will the tub fit both of us?” Geno smiles. “Why do you think I booked this room? Did my research.”

There’s steam curling off the water as Sid lower himself into the large, claw foot tub. Geno’s prepared it with bath salts and bubbles and when all is said and done they’re both going to come out with soft skin that smells like roses.

Water splashes over the side and onto the bathmat as Sid tries to make himself comfortable at the opposite end of the tub from Geno. He settles the heels of his feet on Geno’s thighs and Geno wraps his fingers around his ankles, grounding him.

It’s nice. Warm and safe and comforting as he rests his head against the side of the tub and Geno runs his hands up and down the muscles in his calves, sore from sightseeing.

Across from him the humidity has curled the ends of Geno’s hair and he’s humming softly as his hands move over Sid’s skin beneath the water.

He would be good with kids, Sid thinks. He is good with kids based on the way he absolutely fawns over Alex. He would be loving and doting and he works a lot, they both do, but he knows Geno would limit the hours at the office just to spend time at home.

Geno is nearing forty and Sid bearing down on thirty five and this isn’t the first time Geno has brought up the idea of having kids but this time it’s sticking with Sid and refusing to let go.

They’ve done such a good job keeping themselves together. Sid’s past has yet to come back to haunt him, due in large part, Sid’s sure, to the team of well trusted lawyers Geno put in place to end any hint of a rumor before it grew.

Every day that passes Sid finds it easier to breathe. His past shaped him into the person he is today but that’s over and his future is full of promise. Why wouldn’t he want to share that with Geno and a child?

“You still have worry face on,” Geno says and Sid is pulled from his thoughts. “If you really worry about museum _so much_ should call them so you can finally relax because I have plans for you and me after this bath.” He stops and runs his hands further up Sid’s thighs and winks. “And would be much better if you weren’t distracted.”

“Will you marry me,” Sid asks and Geno’s hands grip tightly around Sid’s knees as he snaps his head up to stare at him.

There’s a beat of complete silence before Geno is pushing himself up and out of the water, sending it cascading over the sides.

“Fuck, Sid,” Geno says as he carefully makes his way out of the bathroom, slipping slightly as his wet feet hit the tile. He disappears into the bedroom and it takes a second for Sid to process what just happened before he’s pushing himself out of the water as well.

“Hey, what the fuck, Geno, you can’t just run away from me.”

“Not running,” Geno yells back and before Sid can even get one foot out of the tub Geno is back, standing in the doorway with a small box in his hands. “Was going to ask you tonight,” he says as Sid lowers himself back into the water. “Had whole plan. Fancy restaurant, good food, romantic city. Think maybe I put ring on top of dessert.”

Sid pulls a face and Geno shakes his head.

“Or not. Maybe I don’t even ask you there. Maybe it’s on walk home or back here before bed.” His lips are tugged into an over exaggerated frown but Sid can see the light in his eyes. “Was going to ask you first. Even have ring.”

“Can I see it?”

Geno looks down at the box then back up at Sid. “Need to see it before you say yes to me,” he teases as he slowly makes his way over to the side of the tube.

“You haven’t even asked me yet and you never answered me.”

Geno drops to one knee beside him, curls one hand around the back of Sid’s neck and pulls him in for a kiss.

“I say yes,” he whispers against Sid’s lips. “Always yes.” He leans back, just enough to pop the ring box open . It’s a platinum band with diamond insets. Simple but Sid doesn’t doubt that it cost a small fortune. “I have matching one for me,” Geno says, “if you say yes.”

Sid smiles softly and holds his left hand out. He doesn’t know how he could ever say no.

**Author's Note:**

> My tumblr is [ here.](https://secret-sidgeno-writer.tumblr.com/)


End file.
